Nachreiner's picture
Nachreiner

Husband and I disagree on daycare switch. Advise

I need advise. I want to change my two children's daycare, but my husband doesn't. I have a 2.5 year old and 5 month old. The oldest was at a center that we loved, but when the second one came along we switched due to finances. Now they both go to a home daycare. The home daycare is ok- they are safe, loved and seem happy. However I know the television is on often, the oldest doesn't bring home any crafts/work/items she has done, and the youngest has a huge bald spot on the back of her head. I know that's normal for babies, but this seems waayyyy too big. I am just not warm and fuzzy inside about this daycare. I am concerned they are not being stimulated enough. I found another daycare they can get into and it appears to be much more stimulating, but my husband says no, and here is why- he would have to drop them off, as he does now, but it will add 45 minutes of driving for him in the morning. I know that isn't the best thing in the morning, but it's a small sacrifice to make for our kids' well-being!!! I start work at 7 am and have an hour commute. He starts at 8 am and has an 8 minute commute. The daycare the kids currently go to is a mile down the road from his shop. The one I want to switch to is about 15 miles the opposite direction. So he'd have to leave our house by 7 to have the girls there by 7:15 ish, get out of there by about 7:20 ish and be to work within 15-20 minutes. I would pick them up on my way home, which is about 20 minutes out of my way too, but I feel it's worth it.

I don't know what to do. I want my kids to attend a better daycare and our options are limited. What should I do? I am very disappointed with my husband. I have tried talking to him about this multiple times in various ways, but he says no. AND HE ADMITS he is being selfish- he said it's too inconvenient for him.



McCuen's picture
McCuen
Can you find any closer options? Is there another home daycare to try? Is there a reasonably priced nanny available? Maybe some one that could take your 2 yr old to a good preschool for part of the day?
Nachreiner's picture
Nachreiner
Unfortunately we are limited- we live in the country by a small town... so few options. And yes to preschool but transportation is an issue too. The daycare I want to switch too has full time onsite preschool... so convenient. I just have a not so good feeling about where they are now. It is sad because my husband and I work hard and make decent money in our area, but daycare is expensive. I just wish he understood my gut feeling about the current daycare.
Hebron71's picture
Hebron71
Being a parent is ALL ABOUT sacrifice.. if you are both being inconvenienced it seems reasonable to me, it is not as if you are demanding of him alone, you are both giving extra time and being a parent is about that, let me ask if a 45 minute tag on to his day is an issue now, how about later in life when they want school clubs, and so on and so forth. I agree with you and feel your husband needs to put his childs needs and development above his own, if he admits he is being selfish he already knows the right thing to do and this is about being stubborn and holding onto some warped sense of masculine power, imo. and yes I am a husband and father in agreement with you my dear lady :)
littlekingdomchildcare's picture
littlekingdomch...
I have been associated with this preschool and daycare center for kids which is called Little Kingdom Childcare, it takes care of children of 6 weeks to 12 years of age. You would find a great learning environment for your kids.
stephrwallace's picture
stephrwallace
I completely understand where you are coming from. My first question to you is this: Have you talked to your current provider about your concerns? Sometimes people don't realize things that they could be doing better until you say something to them. You could let them know how you are feeling and give some suggestions on what they could do. If they do not take steps forward in making you feel better about the care they are providing, I would then let them know you are looking for alternative care and enroll them in the other place. As for your husband, it is good that he realizes his decision-making process does not have the children's best interest at the center. Even if it means tacking on some extra time, better care for the children is the most important. No good parent wants their child glued to the TV all of the time, or left unattended in a crib or playpen for the majority of the day. You make sacrifices for your chilren. End of story. Hope everything works out <3
missyrachy's picture
missyrachy
My daughter has been going to daycare since she was 1. She is now 4. She is a good girl. She has had a tough year, we moved, seperated from her dad, and now its summer time which means new teachers and different friends at daycare (though at the same daycare). The past two weeks have been so hard for her at drop off and pick up. Clinging in the morning and not wanting to leave at night. Please help. Any tips on easing the transition for her. I get frustrated and I know this reaction is not helpful. I am going to try changing our schedules as well, bed time earlier and up earlier to have more time.