gail's picture
gail

Baby borrowers

I know, I said I wouldn't be back, and I'm not, but I wanted to reach everybody I could about this issue.  I sent this e-mail to everybody on my address list, and then I thought of all of you.

 

 I read yesterday in the paper about a TV show that is going to begin airing on June 25 on NBC.  I was really upset about the show and I wanted to invite you to join me if you happen to agree with me. 

 

I'm sending this to everyone on my address list, so if you don't remember who I am, Sorry!

 

   Just wanted you to know, as quickly as possible, that I will regretfully end my 45 year long relationship with what has been a fine network if you air a single episode of baby borrowers.  That you have condoned removing children for 72 hours from their primary caregivers is abominable.  Your purported admirable motive blinded you to participating in human slavery and abuse. 
   It is no longer hard for me to believe that no one in your programming department had the wits to consider the effect on these children as a counterbalance to cheap programming. 
   You need to foot the bill for parenting classes for those who rented out their children.  That the adults knew the children were safe is interesting, but the children could not have known that they were themselves safe. 
   How could you do such a thing?



gail's picture
gail

I forgot to mention that I also sent the e-mail to NBC.

junieg's picture
junieg

This must be the American version of the show. It has already been screened in Britain. It caused a lot of controversy here as well. That did not stop the BBC from showing it. Good luck anyway Gail. Nice to hear from you again, however short.

kantoka's picture
kantoka

Gail---

I am completely offended that you actually referred to the parents loaning their babies as Human Slavery and abuse.

I was one of those parents. And I don't need a parenting class, thank you. If you took time to watch the show and learn more about the precautions that were put into place, you would know every parent of each infant was on the set watching via camera 24/7 and that many people including producers, nannies and medical personnel were stationed on the set as well. Our babies were NOT abused, nor would any of us parents EVER have handed over our children to a situation we didn't trust. We knew this experiment would be stressful, but we were there to step in at any time. Our babies were well cared for and no matter what, our children helped contribute to changing these teens lives and maybe many others across the country.

And NO ONE was paid to do this show, so how you can corelate slavery as an example is beyond me. I find that statement very ignorant.

gail's picture
gail

NBC is being paid by advertisers to air this show. So, you allowed your children to be exploited so someone you don't even know could get money. (was it a free vacation? or did you pay your own room and board while you went without pay for that time so you could watch your kids on TV?) I don't care that you didn't get any money. In the absence of real need, little children should not be separated from their parents. That was the abuse that DID TAKE PLACE, The fact that you don't think their distress is important proves to me that you do need some kind of intervention. If the information that is being shared is that valuable, apparently little British children had already been exploited, they could have aired the BBC program.

I am astounded that so many people think that the distress of the children is not important, as long as the grown-ups are getting what they want/need. YOU knew they were safe. If your child was an infant or a toddler, you can't tell me the child understood that they would ever see you again. If they are used to separation, already have had their attachment to you strained by frequent extended absences, then shame on you for that, too.

Go ahead and respond. Justify that it's OK. You will just confirm out of your own mouth again that how you, the parent, feel is all that really matters.

And I am a homo sapiens, a primate who passes judgment. AS are you, it is just that your judgment causes your child to be in situations where your child is compromised.
Been there, done that, learned the lesson.

junieg's picture
junieg

Go Gail.
Kantoka, perhaps you should read up on John Bowlby's theory of attachment. How old was your child when you 'lent' him/her. You have broken your bond, and it doesn't matter what experts were there, because what your child needed was you. I hope you do not regret it in years to come.

tamz's picture
tamz

What would you say to a mother who had to leave her baby with a sitter by necessity or travel for three days on business? Does leaving your baby with a sitter for 9 - 10 hours a day have the same effect as leaving him /her for three days? Don't get me wrong, I would NEVER allow my baby to be exploited for fun or profit; I just wonder if we should judge a working mother as harshly as we are judging these parents.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

I have not seen this show so cannot comment on the show in particular. I just want to point out that there are many reasons one would need to leave their child for more than 72 hours, such as when my son was burned and had to go to a distant hospital, I had to leave my daughter for 17 days. She was upset but adjusted and seemed to be fine. Then at around 6, she became even more clingy, then moody and developed many disorders as she got older, IBS, nausea, headaches, then as a preteen, TMJ, migraines and anorexia. After years of going to doctors she was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder also. I have often wondered how much of my daughters issues had to do with that early separation.

gail's picture
gail

The difference is the necessity. Arrange video conferences for work if you can, or get other work. Those people don't need to hear YOUR heart beat.

pulling an adult tooth that is decayed is necessity. pulling a tooth that is healthy is abuse. Same action. possibly traumitizing. One is abuse, the other is necessity.

junieg's picture
junieg

I agree. There is a lot of difference between necessity if you have to be away from your child due to illness, work etc. We are talking about deliberately abandoning your child to the care of strangers for some experiment. Not the same thing at all. Why take chances you don't have to with your precious baby.

gail's picture
gail

OCD moment "traumatizing" sp.