xandersstepmom's picture
xandersstepmom

worrying about xanders mom

So Alexander got to spend Christmas with him mom in the states (he was there for a week) when he got back everything was different, he wont tell me when he is having bad dreams and if i ask he says he's having good ones, but then he tells everyone else about his bad dreams (that's been going on since before he left) then he has started to want to take Anthony away, he was playing iron man on our bed and i was fine with it then he said (to me) that iron man was going to kill me (so i told him then iron man is not welcome in our house) he grabbed his dads hand ans said come on daddy were not playing with her. Anthony didn't move and just stayed. since he's been home he doesn't want to share with me but then he'll turn around and tell me he loves me and hug me. then today i heard him crying (during his nap) and i walked up and asked what was wrong he said he didn't want mommy to let him down (big question mark in my head) i told him mommy wont let you down they aren't allowed its there job not to. but then i was on facebook and her status says paper, papers,papers my hand will be cramped at the end of the day, and shes had other that have worried me and Anthony. I'm starting to think she gonna try something. what do we do. i feel like Alexander feels it. i don't want a 4 year old to have to worry about adult stuff i feel like all he should have to worry about is his toys and being the super hero for a day that he wants to be. any advice???



mayamay's picture
mayamay
This seems to me like a normal process of separation. That it has come just after a visit may be just a coincidence. All my kids at about age 5 did similar things, though they weren't complicated by the 2 different mommies that Xander has.
xandersstepmom's picture
xandersstepmom
yeah i hope so i just dont want to see anthony loss him or see alexander worrying about things he shouldnt be worrying about
mayamay's picture
mayamay
My oldest girl, when she was 5, told me she hated me and wanted to go live with my best friend. It broke my heart. My second, when she was about the same age, told me she hated me and wanted to go live with grandma. The light bulb went on and I thought--OH, this is an age thing! Don't YOU be worrying about things you shouldn't be worrying about.
mayamay's picture
mayamay
If there's court-ordered visitation, see if Anthony can add a supervision requirement.
xandersstepmom's picture
xandersstepmom
she only gets him for 2 months in the summer and every other Christmas. we live in Canada. she lives in the states so supervised may be hard. i am always worrying about Xander, he doesn't want to do his writing right and he starts kindergarten next year, and i cant even get him to write his name, he knows them all and numbers to. to he was acting like he didn't know how to write an s so i said OK enough well try again tomorrow he started crying and got mad. i explained it but he still was mad. then on the phone with his mom he told her i got mad cause he didn't nap, i wasn't mad but i did tell him i was disappointed cause when i walked in he had huge bags under his eyes and he usually gets cranky with his dad if he doesn't nap and i don't think that's fair. i am a worrier lol but ill try not to as much. thanks for the advice guys it really does help knowing i have some people to vent to and who will help
mayamay's picture
mayamay
Back off on the academic stuff. Lots of physical play, making stuff with clay, pretending, and read to him lots.