stepson behavior affecting toddler
My stepson is 8. When I am the only adult around, his behavior is terrible. Tantrums, defiance, etc. He misbehaved when husband was around but not as bad. Lately, however, he has gotten bad even when husband is around. He has always had behavior problems (met husband when ss was 2) but he has become physical - destroying property and hitting when he is angry (mostly when he doesn't get his way or is asked to do something other than play video games). My problem is that his behavior is affecting my toddler. SS was living with bm for about 2 months and we had very little problems with toddler. Since ss has been back however, he has become a lot more defiant and aggressive, doing things that ss does. I discipline him and explain why those things are wrong, but I am starting to resent ss since I know we wouldn't have near as many problems with toddler if he weren't around. I am also afraid he will hurt him when he gets angry as he does hit and break things. He cracked the top in my coffee table the other day during a fit. I am to the point where I don't want to be alone with him. If my husband isn't around, he finds a babysitter. I don't want to leave my husband, but he just doesn't seem to understand. He thinks I just need to "deal with it." But I find it hard to deal with since he tells me he hates me and wishes I would die and go to Hell. We used to get along ok, but not anymore. His bm and paternal grandparents have filled his head with things (both directly and by actions). I am not sure what to do. Any advice would be appreciated!