Stepmother moves on and forgets about us after fathers death
In 1984 my father left his wife and four kids, and one of his daughters was pregnant at 16. It was a nasty divorce and he married the woman who was 12 years younger than him. In that year I graduated highschool, my sister had her baby, we had to sell our home and my sister married her baby's father and less than a year after my dad left he re-married and bought a home with his new wife and her father lived with them. It was rough in the beginning however we managed over the years to develop and have a good family with both my parents and step parents spending every holiday, birtday etc...together with us kids. I was very close with my stepmom over the years and she had a good relationship with my siblings. My mom and my stepmom talked daily. Then my dad became sick in 2007 and things slowly started to change. My stepmom made all the decisions related to his care etc. Us kids were there everyday at the hospital for 6 weeks and then at their home for months while we watched him slowly dying. She began to shut us out..and then when he passed it got worse. We continued to include her in family gatherings however she never came...she started seeing an old flame like 2 months after my dad died and it bothered us but we knew she needed someone and he was familiar so we tried to be understanding. Anyway that relationship didn't go where she wanted it to. She started seeing some man who lived an hour away back in February and then in June she put her house up for sale and moved in with this man. The problem is throughout the past two years she has had no consideration as to how we feel. My father and her set everything up so if he passed it went to her and if she passed it went to him and then when either of them passed it passed to us children. He set it up so she wouldn't have to sell the home and she would be able to stay living there. Well she liquidated everything and moved on. We didn't expect her to hand us any money..the only thing that was expected was that my fathers tools go to my brother because that is what my dad wanted and she knew that and there wasn't a problem until she decided to move with this man. Now my brother wants nothing to do with her and she acts like we are being materialistic over the tools. She sold alot of things because she said she couldn't afford to give them away and she couldn't sell them to us. It was her nephews who helped her go through the house not her husbands children. We are suffering her us four kids because we had what we thought was a great family and after my dad died it was like it was all in vain. We swallowed alot over the years and we always treated her with repect and we thought we her family. Now she has been calling and emailing me upset that the other kids don't bother with her and I don't understand what she wants from them. She discounted our importance in her life and our grieving. All she talked about was it was her stuff to do with what she wanted...she knows what was suppose to be. She admitted she was wrong in the way she handled things and now expects us to just get over it. It actually feels like the divorce all over again and has dug up alot of the same emotions. We expected her to embrace us after dads death not push us away. She has no children of her own.