kimmie_34's picture
kimmie_34

step kids accepting new baby

my stepson who is 21 accepts his 1 year old sister, but my stepdaughter who is 17 doesnt. She says she is thinking about meeting her, but is not sure. She stop talking to us 2 1/2 years ago when she found out her dad had the reversal so we could get pregnant, she was fine with us getting pregnant because her mom told her the reversal wouldnt work then when my husband had it done and we got pregnant she turned against us. she just recently starting talking to use again but its very short she still has hate for us...she is not sure when or if she will meet her lil sister... does anyone have advise for me. because right now im not sure if i want my 1 year old around her now



mayamay's picture
mayamay
So she made it perfectly clear before you got pregnant that she was not OK with this, and you guys, being the adults, went ahead and did what you wanted without regard for her feelings? OK.
kimmie_34's picture
kimmie_34
yeah we did she was fine before until her mom said how she felt to her, and then she changed her mine, she told us she would of been fine with fostering a child but not having one of our own. either way she would of been mad because she was always the baby of the family. she lives with her mom about little over a hour away she only came when she wanted to come, so she dont live with us and why should we put our lives on hold because she is shelfish.
junieg's picture
junieg
She is seventeen and if she doesn't like it then tough. She is a big girl now and it's time she started thinking more maturely. Concentrate on the little one and perhaps step sister can get over it eventually and start acting like an adult. You did not have to ask her permission. She doesn't even live with you.
mayamay's picture
mayamay
So, somebody who is coping with divorce starting before age 15 and wants her own daddy is selfish and immature, and somebody who is ~30 and wants her own baby is--noble and mature? Can I say that nobody in this interaction is acting like an adult, and only 2 of the 3 of them are adults?
kimmie_34's picture
kimmie_34
@junieg i agree she needs to get over it and grow up, she was fine with everything until it happend, and now she wants to act like that.@mayamay she was over the divorce alot time ago her brother and her were glad there parents got divore because they didnt like the fighting, and now her mom with married with another guy. it was all going good, we sat down and told them and they were fine with the baby up until they knew we were really doing it... a 15 is old enough to know that when a parent is getting remarried they should know that there will be a new baby in the picture,as far as me and my husband we do act like adults we did everything we could to involve her she decided because her mother didnt like it to not except it.the problem with the world today is people lets kids/stepkids run there lifes. what because one child dont like it then dont go through with it, that is not teaching them anything.
junieg's picture
junieg
Good luck Kimmie. Enjoy your wee one.