elle-l's picture
elle-l

Spoiled StepSon

My fiance's son is 7 years old and SPOILED ROTTEN!!

Not by us though!! by his mother!!

His mother...

- has not held a job longer than a couple months... since Bry*(names changed) was born!!!...oh... and her income... my fiances child support

- doesn't feed him well (KD & cab rides to McDonalds constitute as a regular 'real meal') which results in fits and hungry tummy's at our house...

- has a toy, or present waiting for him every other Sunday when he gets home from our house

-etc. (the list is impossibly long) this is only the tip of the iceburg

ANYWAYS... the kids expects EVERYTHING!!!

How can we really reinforce the value of a dollar... when his mother spoils him to death!! and there is no reasoning with her, so we dont even bother trying. She's brain dead!!!

He's done the Chore thing... and when he spends his allownace money, he puts up a fit when he only gets petty change in return for his bills. Eventually he just stopped doing them and wont even do it for money... He even wants to be given allowance money for brushing his teeth!!! (which need $1500 worth of work thanks to his moms lack of discipline)

And jsut now at Christmas... he was rude and ripped through even his AWESOME gifts, and tossed them aside and ripped through more.. he even tossed all the cool presents the way any kid would toss new clothes! He says thank you, when reminded, with a snarly childish voice, but thats about it.

Its so frustrating, that I came to work to get away for a bit! My fiance is about to lose his mind too, we cant figure out how to change things... any suggestions????



acitez's picture
acitez

Most 7-year olds don't appreciate the value of money, don't do many chores, and resent the ones they do.
You do need to teach polite behavior. My boy was about that age (intact family, reasonable parents) and he was less than gracious about his gifts. We had a family meeting about polite behavior--how to introduce people, how to blow your nose, how to leave the room to pass gas, how to set a table, answer a phone and take a message, every imaginable thing, including how to be gracious about gifts even if it was not what you wanted. We described the correct behavior, then everybody took a turn acting it out. We did this shortly before his birthday which was in February. He did much better with his birthday gifts than he did with Christmas.