babyblue_sweetie's picture
babyblue_sweetie

pregnant and scared to tell my abusive 12 year old step daughter.

I'm hear because im desperate, and don't know what to do. My husband and I have known each other for 9 yrs dated for 5 and been married for just over a year. I have known and had a good relationship with his daughter since she was 3yrs old. over the past 3 years our relationship has changed significantly. My step daughter has changed from a wonderful loving child to a vindictive manipulative abusive person I'm afraid to be around. It started with comments that she would give me about my weight. Then she would hit me for no reason or she would hit extreamly hard during play like tag or hide and go seek. Then she started pulling my hair, kicking me, slapping me in the face she has left bruises on me and she would do it when no one was looking. Most recently on her birthday 5 months ago we took her out to a game place to win prizes and have dinner then to glow in the dark mini golf. At dinner in front of her grandmother and father she was kicking my shins under the table, I would tell her to stop and she would then do it again laugh and say she forgot. My husband told her to knock it off and then switched spots with me so I wasn't across from her anymore. But she did it again with effort and left me with 2 bruised shins. So he caused a seen screaming at her and threatened to leave if she did it again. She stopped then while we're discussing something with his mother just briefly I had a butter knife thrown at me from across the table with enough force I had a bruise left on my arm. I got up and went outside. So frustrated I bummed a cigarette off of a stranger and smoked to whole thing even though I had quit more than a year before that. When I calmed down enough I went back in and she apologized holding in a laugh.
Later she had won almost enough points to get the dog on a stick stuffed animal she wanted. So I used my points to get her the dog. After she got it she asked daddy for a hug I was standing behind he she hugged him looked at me and swung the stick and hit me in the face with it leaving a welt. Completely on purpose! And laughed he heard the laugh turned to me saw the welt and started yelling again. I left and sat in the car for the next 20 min while they went to mini golf.
I have refused to see her since. But now I am 20 weeks pregnant four and a half months and just found out we are having a girl 3 days ago. My husband wants to tell her this weekend at thanksgiving dinner at his parents and I am afraid she will attack me. I didn't want to tell her until after the baby was born. She nearly ruined our wedding, she stabbed my 8 year old sister in the neck tackled my cousin and used her shoe to make her nose bloody. she bossed around all the other kids parents were complaining to me about her the whole night my father had to leave. And when we cut the cake she made a huge seen crying about another kid. We talked and yelled at her maybe 15 times that day his family was no help what so ever. And I had made her a flower girl. Trying to include her. There wasn't a single picture with her smiling taken.
Needless to say I don't want her ruining this pregnancy for us like she did the wedding. What do I do I'm afraid for my unborn baby and I can't imagine leaving her alone with our child I don't even want her near me anymore. My husband has even spanked her trying to help but no matter what she finds a way to hurt me and I've never so much as said a mean word to her what do i do? He knows my feelings but still wants to tell her. I know she will freak out when he does and try to hurt me and the baby. Please help any advice would be great im completely lost.



hrsainfoctr's picture
hrsainfoctr
Does she behave like this with anyone else? Or is it just you? You are smart to limit your contact with her. If she does this to others as well, especially in school, she should be referred to psychiatrist/psychologist for evaluation.