My husband hates my son
I am not really sure what to do. I have been with my husband for three years and we've been married a year and half. While we were still dating, my son (who was 14 at the time) was caught smoking marijuana. He has been to inpatient and outpatient treatment for that. When my son was released from inpatient treatment I sent him to live with his dad in another state for awhile to try to get him in another environment. This was my husband's (boyfriend at the time) idea. Well my son had to go to court...it took several months to get a court date...and had to come back and live with me as part of his probation.
My son got a decent job after school and on weekends(he was 15 almost 16) and my husband (we were married by then) made my son give me half his paycheck to help pay for his inpatient treatment. I didn't agree with this and just thought it was part of being a parent having to pay for the treatment. My son was being rebellous to my husband which wasn't anything too bad considering he was a teenager. He did smoke cigarettes in the house which infuriated my husband. My husband made my son move out and in with my dad in a neighboring town. My son also did take some money from my husband (a couple of dollars here and there) but felt that my husband was taking his money by taking half his paycheck.
Here is the problem...every time my husband and I argue he brings up my son. He tells me all the time that he hates my son's guts and will never have anything to do with him. My husband won't go to any of my family get-togethers because my son will be there. Every argument turns into an argument about my son and how it's my fault that he smoked marijuana and that I should have been tougher on him. In fact, when my grandmother died my husband wouldn't even sit with me in the family section because my son was there. I am really starting to resent my husband because of this. I am considering divorce because I am so tired of arguing about my son, who no longer lives with me because my husband hates him. He is no longer allowed at the house if my husband is here. My son is definately no angel but my husband is 40 years old and is definately acting like a child.
What do I do? My son is a senior in high school this year and he will soon be on his own. I feel like I'm letting my son down by letting it go this far.