ohmamamia's picture

my husband and "my" 12 y.o. not getting along

There are no reason for anyone to yell at someone elses child even if he helps support her. Thats what my young husband does to my child. I'm not saying that she's all sweet, but aren't there limits on how to talk to step children? I never raise my voice to his 8 y.o. He gets crazy and yells in her face and drops the "F" bomb and just hurtful things calling her a F..en [filtered word]...??? if he feels she's giving him "attitude". I'ts not the first time, lets say...maybe about 5 times....within 5 years. I don't think this last burst of fresh air will fix anything..but aren't i right to be hurt?? I don't know what to do or how to fix it..help!

melonia's picture

As to your question if you are right to be hurt: you are always "right" to be hurt...your feelings are your own and you have a "right" to them, regardless if someone else feels they are unreasonable.
Now as to if I feel they are unreasonable...NO WAY!! No one is calling my kid the f word and you have every right to be angry!!
Maybe your husband has anger issues, maybe he just doesn't understand proper ways to talk to a child...I think this is a definite case for family counseling. Even if it is just once a year...she will be a teen soon and he needs some feedback on how to handle a teenager...and you need some support on what to do when he acts like he does.

2xstepmom's picture

You being hurt or not is not the issue here. The issue is your husband being disrespectful to your daughter and you. Do not tolerate his negative behavior any longer. By doing so you are giving your daughter the message that it is acceptable to allow herself to be treated badly by a man in her future relationships. Go to family therapy and let your "young husband" know this abhorrent behavior will no longer be tolerated.