My family is falling apart
I have reach, what feels to be my lowest, breaking point. My husband and I argue all the time about our parenting skills. We have sole custody of all 3. My son is 13, his daughter is 12, and my little girl is almost 9. My daughter has never met her bio dad. She has always felt the emptiness of not having a 'dad'. When my husband and I got together, his daughter really felt bad about this and told my daughter he could have her daddy too. Very sweet - made me cry. But has retracted her offer and does not want her calling him dad. She is very sneaky and mean to my daughter all the time. She told my daughter that she was a mistake baby, that why she doesn’t have a dad. She of course denied this and no other action was taken. BS!! This has started the worst of things. Both of our girls hate each other and resent each other. My son is punished constantly for his arguing and talking back. He is an A & B student, very smart, just a snot face at times. Miss 12 was a C - D student but has moved up to an A - B - C - D student. She still gets more privileges than my son. D's are not acceptable in my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, if they try their best its ok. But she chooses to not pay attention in class, doesn’t do notes, or just doesn’t do homework. I just cant figure out how she is so perfect and my kids are not even close. She constantly talks back to me, argues, cuts me off when I’m talking.....ugh! I put my foot down and tell her to go to her room, or be quiet, or what ever fits for appropriate situation. I talk w/my husband and it goes no where. He says I’m too hard on them and I say he is way to easy. He feels he is supposed to be their best friend (but is only w/his daughter). I call BS again. I am here to raise my kids to be independent and strong and responsible and when it is ok to be goofy and when it is time to be serious. He wants to be his daughters best friend. She is 12 not 2.....she is on him or up his back end 24/7. She cant do homework w/out daddy. She plays him constantly to get her way and he doesn’t see it. He will tell her 'no' on something and she pulls the 'pleeease dadddyyyy' and of course he says 'oh ok'....ugh!! Now the bad stuff. The evil grandparents!!! The have put so much on me and my husband it has been damaging. We are currently in court because they want her mom's custody rights. Wow. yes - these people are grossly obsessed. Its scary. They are teaching her to be materialistic. they buy her what ever she wants whenever she wants it. He still has yet to say anything to them about this. I thought an $800 diamond (engagement looking) ring for a (just turned) 12 yr old would have made him speak up. NOPE! I have been in a depressed state for a couple weeks now and it is only getting worse. I go to school full time currently in Phlebotomy - going into nursing. My husband does absolutely Nothing around our house. He doesn’t even help me push the kids to clean up. They have chores but I’m the devil cause I’m who enforces it every day. He plays on computer the second he walks in the door until he naps or goes to bed. I feel alone and don’t know what to do. Talking with my husband hasn’t been helping nor did counseling for our kids. Pleas, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I love my husband and all 3 of my kids so very much!!!