lost without any guidance's picture
lost without an...

My children dont like my HUSBAND What do I do? 911

I was single for 13 years. I have two daughters 16 and 21 years old. To make a long story short It was always the girls and I.
I got married in 2008 he has 3 kids, two boys whom live with us as well they are 17 and 18.His daughter lives with her mother and she is seven years old. No problems with her
Because of things that we made mistakes on with our children we are currently living in seperate houses because of our children rebelling and not liking our spouses. There are other disagreements in our relationship.
We still see one another but it is very hard because we want to live with each other but my children are still very upset with my husband and they tell me they dont like him and if he moves back in that they will move out. mind you my kids are 16 and 21. I know that one day my children will leave my house but they are making me feel like I am choosing my HUSBAND over them. I have sacrificed my whole life for my girls. How do I make a sound choice for mY Life my future. My 21 year old has a child and now wants to move back in with her boyfriend. She says that she dont want my granddaughter around her because she dont like him.

What do I do? I NEED HELP some wise advise. I even have started to see a therapist just to understand my own feelings which I thought I had under control

2xstepmom's picture

What specific mistakes did you both make with your children? What form did their rebellion take? Why do the children not like either of you?

What are the "other disagreements" in your relationship?

Your 21 y/o is an adult with a child and can certainly live on her own. Are his boys out of high school?

mayamay's picture

A parent has an obligation to provide a child with the best circumstances possible. Until your children are up and out, your relationship needs to be on hold. When your children are adults, you can expect them to treat your spouse politely if they wish to spend time with you.

Conversely, when they are adults, they may not wish to spend time with you if that means they must be polite to your husband.

Try to figure out what the problem is and if it can be fixed. You may have to choose between your kids and this relationship. No rose garden.