is it ok to be angry? PLEASE HELP
I am the girlfriend, living with, a divorced dad of three teenage girls. the youngest, just turned 12, is acting out in every way and of course pointing all towards me. she has been choosing a path of negative attention for some time now. her dad, and bio mom, treat her like the 'baby', and seem to look the other way not wanting to deal with some of the issues. this girl is in need of counseling, has been for some time.anyway, fast forward. last week the camels back finally broke and she asked for a schedule/rules. well last night she got what she asked for and decided not to be very pleased. in the meantime she has just about frustrated everyone around her; teachers, sisters, family, family friends... all except her parents. her dad was to have a talk with her, and to start laying down some behavioral ground rules, and consequences. she has never been grounded, never had her cell phone taken away or any privledges... she walks around like a princess while her sisters take the brunt of her manipulation. so I find out the discussion her dad had was the following: you are frustrating everyone and furthermore my girlfriend [me] doesn't know what to do with your attitude anymore so she is going for therapy to get help, and help on how to be a step mom because one day sometime in the years to come she is going to be your step mom. now yes, both he and I agreed to go and think it is necessary to go for counseling to deal with our own communication styles so we can continue to be positive and resolve conflicts constructively and continue to be partners/team mates. he failed to mention anything to his daughter about his participating in counseling with me.... and actually it wasn't about her but about us. now I have this 12 yr old that I'm in a power struggle with and see right through her nonsense [and she knows it which is why she doesn't like me] that is going to play off the fact that she's gotten her dad's girlfriend in to counseling... her friends will know, and probably bio mom. I am SO mad!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop being mad! It happened late last night. my boyfriend and I went to bed without talking, he only telling me I am being immature and she's going to be much better now. this morning I told him to give me space and leave me alone... he was only in my face more and more and more, to the point he started laughing in my face and then walked out the door for work. UGH! He apologized early this morning and has the expectation that I should just accept [which I did] and forget about it. I am trying but am struggling.