Im a boyfriend trying to be a dad/ trying to get a future at university..PLEASE HELP!!!!
Hi all, Im pretty new to this so bare with me!
I am in a relationship with my girlfriend of nearly a year and a half, she has a daughter of 3 and a half years. I love my girlfriend dearly and we have spoken about marriage and children together for quite some time. as with most children, my girlfriends daughter has moments of bad behaviour and generally being naughty, sometimes more severe than others. sometimes i personally feel that her daughter plays up too much and that my girlfriend could do more to keep her in line, but lately i have been intervening possibly too much as so to discipline her. the problem is my girlfriend thinks im too harsh on her and i think shes not firm enough and that she allows her to essentially control a situation. i think that sometimes she is "molly coddled" and discipline that she might need to encounter in order to make her respectful of what she is being told is avoided sometimes. as a result i feel bad what ever the situation, i feel like some sort of ogre when i try and intervene, knowing that my girlfriend might not appreciate my intervention. on the other side of the coin, when i stand back i worry that my girlfriends daughter's bad behaviour will only grow and may well one day come between us for good. i know she's not my flesh and blood, and i know i probably over step the mark, but i feel its in all of our interests to try and at least act as a parent of somesort as one day we may well all be under one roof with the possibilty of more additions to the family. the father of my girlfriends daughter see's her once a week, some times less. the relationship between my girlfriend and her ex is fragile and frosty at best, as when they were together she endured some domestic issues.
I am clueless as were to turn. i dont know how i should approach this situation any more as my best intentions sometimes aren't wanted. My girlfriend is 24 with a small beauty therapist business, i'am 23 and am currently 3/4 the way through a university degree. we both want to move on, she is desperate for me to finish university so we can be together permanently, she is sometimes resentful of me being at university because she feels it is hindering a family life that she desperately wants now. if anyone has any advice, i'd be extremely grateful..
sorry for the essay : )