jomama's picture
jomama

Husband thinks I'm too hard on stepdaughters

Hi,

I'm sure a lot of you out there have dealt with this, but here it goes.  My husband and I have custody of my 2 stepdaughters 11 and 12.  We also have a 16yr son together(that's another story) and a 10 month daughter.  Everything I gripe about with the girls not  doing like homework, chores and other stuff. He feels that I am purposely trying to ketch them doing something wrong.  I gripe about our son too when he does stuff wrong.  My husband always feels I'm being way too hard on the girls.  With grounding, taking away their cool clothes and making them earn them back.  I've been in their lives since they were 2month and 2 yrs old. They've lived w/ us since 4/05.  I always tell him I treat them as if they were my own.  I don't normally ever refer to them as my stepdaughters and always introduce them as my daughters. I love them very much, but my husband and i are constantly fighting over this.



acitez's picture
acitez

Begin with the end in mind. See if your husband is open to a discussion about what characteristics the two of you want your children to have when they are grown-up. Then try to figure out how to set things up so they have the chance to develop those characteristics. It is possible that you do have expectations that are unrealistic of 11 and 12 year old children.