momofbbs's picture

how do i make my husband understand

this is a hard subject, my step-son who is 14 does not live with us, but this past summer he was here, my daughter who is 12 was on computer and dad and i were in our room. my step-son came into office, shut door, had blanket wrapped around himself, placed his chin on my daughters head (she thought nothing of this) the procedded to reach up behind her and touched her breast! she pushed his hands away (terrified now) and clicked to shut down computer, after she pushed his hands away he went to floor behind her, then tried pulling her shirt up. she immediately jumped up to leave room. he blocked her path and said not until you promise not to tell....she agreed then ran straight up to me! my husband conformted him and all he said was "i wanted to get nto trouble" my husband immmeditately took him back to his moms...
my daughter and i are both very much uncomforatable now at thought of this boy, and i thought hubby understood, until now. its thanksgiving and christmas at my in-laws, i refuse to go if step-son is gonna be there. now im the bad person, unforgiving. This boy is 14!!! he premedicated this, he tried to scare her into submission, he knew exactly what he was doing!!! he is lucky i didnt call police! im lost for words, we have 2 small sons together, we love each other, but he is so focused on his precious 14 yr old its tearing us apart.
i do understand its his son, but she is my daughter and its my duty to protect her from all, even if its his son!

mayamay's picture
I think your husband should go spend the time with his family--partly to keep an eye on his son so that no other relatives are molested. You surely should make other arrangements. You don't have to make him understand, just make other plans for yourself and at least your daughter.
Bobram01's picture
You did the right thing. Don't ever let anyone tell you different.
chjmk's picture
Get some family therapy! Start with your pediatrician for a referral. Individual and family therapy will be needed to not sweep this under the carpet. You have to think of the terrible potential and that this young boy has got some real issues, shame and confusion. How very sad. Your daughter is a victim and you can't ignore that very real fact. She can tell another adult-- because she has that RIGHT-- and then you won't have a choice, it's social services and more. Plus, if not dealt with this for her could lead to cutting, depression, eating disorder, promiscuity or drug use from the guilt and shame she has. You must keep her safe and help her heal plus helping your step son do the very same thing-- you owe it to them as their parent. DON'T think that by sending him home and keeping him there is the last of it. Be willing to be insist without ceasing that this be handled and dealt with NOW. This is going to shake your marriage and family to the core. Good luck, and hugs.