Hi I am new to this so bear with me. I have recently moved to California from Virginia to live with my boyfriend. Since my moving in we have acquired full custody of his 11 year old twin girls. We were at the beginning sharing custody. The mother of the girls is the most selfish person I have encountered. She is a drug user and an alcoholic. She refuses to work and subsequently spends her days drinking and thinking how to make my boyfriends and my life as miserable as possible. She was pulled over by the police for driving under the influence while having the girls in the car. She was picking them up from school.
She has sent me horrible letters and has called me saying horrible things to me. My boyfriend tells me to ignore her because she is sick and cant help herself but it is truly getting the best of me. Now her boyfriend even calls me names. I truly dont know how to handle this without the support that is required. I dont say anything because I dont want to jeopardize the girls welfare. But I feel my boyfriend needs to step up to the plate and make a stand for what is important in his life, me and the girls and tel the wife to jump off a bridge. The last time she was to pick the girls up for her scheduled visitation she cancelled and rescheduled only to show up 1 hour later then the pick up. I refused to have the girls go with her because they were doing homework and I want her to learn that a when the Court Order says 3:30 it means 3:30 not when she wants to come. Subsequently, she called the police while at my house screaming and cursing at me. She told them I was holding her children at gun point. I was mortified. Nothing like this has ever happened to me even when I was marriend and going through an abusive marriage. She expects us to repect her and do everything she says I feel we are in prison because we have full custody and she gets them on Tuesday for 3 hours and everyother weekend. Which she never shows up for. She refused to let us go on a vacation that ahas been planned since October long before we got full custody, last week because she has her weekday visitation after we told her she could see them any day we were home after we got back. We finally just took the girls and went. We are now waiting to see what she will do to us. I am so scared the judge is going to take the girls away because we took them on a vacation they truly had begged their mother to let them go on.
There are so many horror stories, but throughtout this the girls know that they are safe with their father and I and that we are giving them the stable environment that they will require to grow.
I need help and strength to be able to cope with this women and her insecurities. Is she still in love with her children's father? Will she do something to harm me? I need guidance. My boyfriend is a kind and wonderful man and we are meant for each other. We have known each other our whole lives and were reacquianted by fate alone. Any advice???