angelsforme's picture
angelsforme

he's coming back

Advice needed.......
I have been married to my husband for 4 years and 2 of the 4 years his youngest son lived with us, which was hell and then he returned to his mother. During the time we had him ( knowing he had problems) age 14 then I tried to be the great step mom. I did everything and he was horrible. He failed school, skipped tutoring I set up for him, stole from us, lied costantly, ate everything in the house, hoarded old crusty dishes in his room, peed his bed daily and hoarded knives which kinda scared me, and on and on. Now he is coming back because no one can get him to go to school and I know it is going to cause trouble. His fathjer is gone 14 hours a day and I told him I will in no way take care of this kid and his father hates to admit that he lies, steals, etc and does not want or have the time to deal with him, so what should I do?



mayamay's picture
mayamay

Do you have any children with this man?

angelsforme's picture
angelsforme

no i dont have any children with this man

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Refuse to allow this child back into your home. If his father insists, leave and make your own life. You deserve more than to have to live in such a scary and chaotic environment. This 16 y/o is his father's responsibility, not yours, and the situation will be even worse for you now than it was.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Refuse to allow this child back into your home. If his father insists, leave and make your own life. You deserve more than to have to live in such a scary and chaotic environment. This 16 y/o is his father's responsibility, not yours, and the situation will be even worse for you now than it was.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

2X, great advice, so great it deserved to be repeated.

How does a parent standby and allow their child to act in such ways? Dad refuses to deal with these issues, but has no problem handing themn off to you. Take 2X's advice and tell Dad no way. Dad should have been on this kid several years ago. How does a parent allow their child to act this way and sit back and feel they have prepared their child for living in the real world?

angelsforme's picture
angelsforme

It would be easy to say no way to letting him back him but the father has full custody and if he doesnt take him in then the evil mom would step in take him to court,get child support, etc. which we cant afford. I have no where else to go and have one of my grown daughters living with me. I have talked to my husband and he is finally agreeing his child has issues and will spend the time to deal with it..........but only time will tell. What would be the warning signs of this child trying to cause me or his father harm? Thanks for all the advice!

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Your grown daughter needs to find her own way. So do you. Being dependent on this man puts your life at risk, and destroys peace and happiness.

Call social services and see what is available in your area. If the government won't provide structured foster care for this boy, then maybe they will provide shelter for you.

Proverbs 15:17
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

Homeless and relatively safe, roof overhead with fear and danger.

angelsforme's picture
angelsforme

Thank you for all the great advice, I will let you know what happens!