Alberta's picture
Alberta

HELP-Teenage girl wears the pants in our house

HI, NOT SURE WHERE TO TURN. MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR OVER 2 YEARS. HIS DAUGHTER IS 15 NOW AND SHE IS VERY MUCH DADDYS LITTLE GIRL. SHE HAS GOTTEN IN TROUBLE FOR HER TEMPER AND WE EVEN HAD TO GET THE LAW INVOLVED DUE TO HER HORRIBLE OURTRAGES. SHE HAD TO COME LIVE WITH US WHEN DCF GOT INVOLVED, SHE TRIED TO HURT HER MOM. NOW SHE IS BACK AND FORTH WITH BOTH HER PARENTS. HER FATHER AND I CONTINUE TO LIVE TOGETHER AND SINCE HER OUTRAGES HE TIP TOES AROUND HER. HE GIVES HERE COMPLETE AND 100% WHEN SHE LIVES WITH US EVERY OTHER WEEK. WE CAN NO LONGER DO ACTIVITIES WITH MY DAUGHTER OF 11YRS AND THE TWO OF THEM. SHE TELLS HER DAD SHE HATES ME! SO WHAT DO I DO? I AM A BIT DISTURBED I AM NOW THE EVERYOTHER WEEK GIRLFRIEND EVEN THOUGH WE LIVE TOGETHER. HE SAYS UNTIL THEY CAN CONVINCE HER TO GET COUNCELING OR SHE GOES OFF TO COLLEGE I HAVE TO JUST DEAL WITH IT. I AM TRYING TO JUST DEAL WITH IT. IF I TRY TO TALK TO HER FATHER HE ALWAYS GETS UPSET AND SAYS YOU DO NOT HAVE A TEENAGER AND THIS IS THE WAY TEENAGERS ARE. I HAVE TRIED, THE KILL HER WITH KINDNESS APPROACH, IGNORE APPROACH, ETC. SHE WILL SIT AT THE COMPUTER NEXT TO THE TV ROOM AND PURPOSELY TURN THE VOLUME UP ON THE COMPUTER AND BLARE MUSIC, INTERUPT CONVERSATIONS, WHAT EVER SHE CAN DO. I AM LOOKING FOR SUGGESTIONS.HE THREATENS HER BUT DOES NOT TAKE ACTION, I WAS RAISED VERY STRICTLY. PLEASE HELP!



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

The threats need to turn into action, or this girl will continue to get away w/ whatever she can. Unfortunately it's not your place to discipline your BF's daughter, so you have 2 choices. Grin and bare it, or get out of the situation. If your BF refuses to change or he continues to ignore any suggestions or help, then I wld get out of the situation. Teenagers are teenagers, I know, but you have a long way before your BF's daughter gets out of this stage. And what if she never changes? Then what?

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Then you will have wasted years of your and your daughter's lives and will have to live with your regrets.

In my case, my daughter picked up many of her older stepsisters terrible habits and negative traits. It took years to undo the damage and at 24 she still bears the emotional scars.

Get out now while you still have your self-respect and before your daughter's self-esteem is destroyed.