help I love her but don't want to spend time with her
I have raised my stepdaughter since she was 5. Her biological mother was young and lived in another state. They didn't have much contact. When I first met my husband my stepdaughter wouldn't take her mothers calls and would ask me to be her mother. I told her that her mother lived (State) ___ and that I am her (my name)___. She asked her mother if she could call me mom and she said yes. We became mother and daughter in all senses of the word. She has graduated from high school now and is very successful. Since graduation, a big affair because she did so well, her mother is more involved in her life (which is good) but she never calls me anymore. She talks with her other mother every day. When we do talk it seems very fake and she often lies about what she is doing if she thinks I won't like it. Even if it is minor. Nothing feels sincere with her. She won't call me "mom" infront of her other mom anymore. I have decided to do the "if you love something set it free" and hope that we will have that closeness again. For now it hurts too much when I am around her and I find myself avoiding contact. Any advice and do you think I am doing the right thing by giving her space or am I being weak by not confronting the problem? If I confronted her what would that change? I can't make her want to feel close to me.