Pregnancy
Discussion Title: Feel I'm going crazy
Created by: dazed
Created on: Thu, 05/29/2008 - 6:44am.
Created by: dazed
Created on: Thu, 05/29/2008 - 6:44am.
I have been with my BF for many years-currently we don't live together (we have at times) more my decision.
I am frustrated with our relationship for a number of reasons.I realise this is a parenting forum.My BF wants to have his son every weekend Sat-Sun and Bank Hols (was EOW).
However,usually every weekend BF sleeps until late afternoon leaving his son in the house where he is sleeping or goes to work in his office or sometimes in his bar. BF works in a bar and his office/accomodation are upstairs
I realise he has a busy job, maybe is tired and is trying to provide. Yes I realised he had a son but I also work all week and feel it's a bit unfair to leave his son and with me most of the time (the only times he has him). He says his son 'doesn't mind' being alone and he 'doesn't expect me to look after him'. To me it is still neglectful.When he gets up he will keep his son up to 11.30 pm and we have no time alone.I say 8 times out of 10 he does very little with him.
I am prepared to compromise and do sometimes take his son swimming etc,usually more than he does.
I have one night with BF in the week where we do what he wants, he also insists I go over Friday night when he's working and just sit in the bar/next to him DJing while he works.
He also throws a fit if I want to see my friends for the odd weekend night/part of day or stay at home.Yes I can see people in the week, but I also work.
Any thoughts please, thanks
However,usually every weekend BF sleeps until late afternoon leaving his son in the house where he is sleeping or goes to work in his office or sometimes in his bar. BF works in a bar and his office/accomodation are upstairs
I realise he has a busy job, maybe is tired and is trying to provide. Yes I realised he had a son but I also work all week and feel it's a bit unfair to leave his son and with me most of the time (the only times he has him). He says his son 'doesn't mind' being alone and he 'doesn't expect me to look after him'. To me it is still neglectful.When he gets up he will keep his son up to 11.30 pm and we have no time alone.I say 8 times out of 10 he does very little with him.
I am prepared to compromise and do sometimes take his son swimming etc,usually more than he does.
I have one night with BF in the week where we do what he wants, he also insists I go over Friday night when he's working and just sit in the bar/next to him DJing while he works.
He also throws a fit if I want to see my friends for the odd weekend night/part of day or stay at home.Yes I can see people in the week, but I also work.
Any thoughts please, thanks
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Replied: 5/29/2008 2:38pm.
Your boyfriend should not have his son over if he is not prepared to put in the time being a father to him. You snooze you lose. He is using you and not just as a nanny. You seem to be a convenience to him. I would be very wary of this relationship
Replied: 5/29/2008 3:52pm.
How old is your BF son? He may not need you to look after him, but he deserves to spend time with his dad. If your BF does not make time for the two people he is supposed to love and support most in life then I wonder how happy your future will be. His son will most likely have issues and resentment as he grows, but he has no choice just now... You do!
Replied: 5/29/2008 10:16pm.
Think about what you are doing here. You deserve better than this!!!!!! My ex tried to get me to "spend quality time" his children while he worked or did his thing. The children resented me for this and it was not a good situation for them or me. It sounds like you are in a similar situation and should seriously consider exactally what it is you are compromising.
Replied: 5/31/2008 11:18pm.
I agree that your BF is using you. He also sounds a bit possessive, maybe even jealous? You deserve time w/ your friends. Your BF needs to trust you more. He also needs to grow up. If this guy keeps treating you like this, I'd dump him. That's my opinion.