Don't know what to do
This will probably be very long so please bear with me. I am lost and don't know what to do. I have moved in with a man whom I love very much and plan to marry as soon as my divorce is final. Problems seem to arise with kids. His and mine. My kids blame him or me and their daddy not being together, and their daddy is not helping by telling them they don't have to do what J says. There are times when I have tried to go back to school and have a part time job that J has to watch them. They terrorize him. Talk back and simply do not listen to what he says. My kids had behavior problems before mine and his divorce even started. I don't know what to do. I do time outs and it doesn't work, i have spanked and it doesn't work either. I feel lost. Now the kids have decided everyone wants to move in with their dad since he just bought a bigger house than what I have. Thats not gonna work for much longer. Ex cannot take care o kids properly. He was gonna send 3 yr old to school with dirty shirt on. So for now I watch them at night there so that I won't have to pay child support as I have no job. Its putting a terrible strain on mine and J's relationship as we never see each other since I'm over here every night. What I need is advice on how to get them to be better behaved not so rowdy and less mouthy to adults. Thanks for any advice you can offer.
Mom of 5