boyfriends daughter spolied...need help
I'm a 35 yr old mom of 2 boys...17 and 10. My boys have been through alot in life so far...bio dad got into crack, moved away with no contact for a 5 yr span with the boys...he cleaned up and has started a new relationship with them in the past year. But during those 5 years i bagan a new relationship and after together for 4 years we got engaged, the boys adjusted very well and chose to call him dad, they bonded well. His daughter and ex were a problem to our family balance and caused alot of issues that i had a hard time dealing with. We seperated a year ago. I was single until this past november. My new boyfriend has a 7 yr old daughter that shares the same parental history as my boys except it was her mother that got into crack. since her mothers (so called sober for a year) clean-up she has started spending more time with her. his daughter is very spoiled cuz dad has always compensated by giving her what she wants when she wants. He says he's working on it...and has asked me to point things out that need work but then he just defends. he also defends his ex in certain matters. yes i know that i can see more flaw in others kids than my own, but i worked hard at raising my boys to be the wonderful young men they are today. i have a problem with his daughters jealousy to me taking some of his time. we dont live together so but she throws tantrums and pouts and he calls her baby and answers her in a whiny "oh baby whats wrong" tone. drives me nuts. i need help!! my ten yr old boy is being forced to spend time with her as he does not like her pouty ways, i disagree in making him do so. she is stealing and disrespecting everyone including teachers, always sent to the office because she has vandelized or just not listening to instruction at school. i want to help him raise her to be a well mannered child but i myself am struggling. i just want to spank her!!! please offer some advise if you have any. i suggested counseling for her and for us as a family if that is truly what we want to be successful as. his response was "but i dont see these problems that you do"