Hi there. I could sure use some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for over one year. We both have children and live in our own houses. My boys are 12, 12 and 15. He has a son age 13, who fits in really well with my boys. He also has a daughter age 16, who does not. We both have shared custody arrangements with other spouses one week on and one week off, so we enjoy being parents for one week, and then a couple the next.
As I mentioned I have only boys. I find his 16 year old girl to be very needy, manipulative and selfish and disrespectful. An example of her neediness is at a dinner party we attended she asked her father to find her a "good piece of meat" from a platter. Imagine at 16, not being able to do so independently. Another example is, I threw a Christmas party for my friends and families. For at least a half an hour she held her fathers hand in the kitchen. Adults discreetly asked me who was his date, the daughter or me. How embarassing. He feels he has a wonderful relationship with her. I think he needs to sever the umbilical cord and let her grow up, fostering independence, and possibly a social life of her own. My boys would not be caught dead holding my hand in public. Heck, I barely get a kiss now, if their friends are around. Anytime we are at a function she will race to her father and take his hand, leaving me out.
Now I understand as an adult, she may be feeling insecure. But I also have feelings. She has admitted to her father she will not get in the way of our relationship, but she is. I hate to give her this much credit, but I fear she has the potential to destroy us. When it is our couple week, we get on famously. I have suggested we not try so hard to blend us when we have our children. I think he has a lovely boy with a delightful personality. I certainly do not feel this about her. Will she always be a thron in my side. Will she ever grow up, move out, and actually be happy for her father??? Help, I really need some advice. Thanks