Boyfriend with "three" kids
Hello everyone, I'm new here. First off let me introduce myself. My name is Stephanie, you can call me Stephy or Steph. I'm from Maryland, and I'm 22 years old. I'm currently a psychology student as a freshman obtaining my BA.I've been involved with a man for quite sometime. Now I have to tell you how we met and our status. I really don't want any lectures on whether anyone approves of how we've done our relationship but rather touch on my dilemmas that I am having. We met online back in January on the 13th,2008. We have managed to keep an emotional relationship for over a year. We became a couple June 13th,2008. At that time I had only known him to have one kid and never married. Clearly he lied to me because I later found out after he confessed to me that he has three kids and has been married, claims to be divorced. A gut feeling tells me that he's not divorced.
He told me that the reason why he lied is because I am so young and single basically, ( without baggage). And he's dated other women who runs off as soon as they find out he has 3 kids. The fact he had a life before me doesn't bother me. It's the fact he kept it from me that's made it a big deal. He was in Texas during the first part of our relationship. He's moved back up here near me because his (ex) wife moved the kids to PA,( long story). I live in MD so we're neighboring states. He now lives 2 hours and 51 minutes from me. He lives just across town from his (ex) wife. She's not over him , he doesn't love her and they share three kids. He wants to marry me very soon, but I said let's wait a couple years, like around 2011. I don't know how to handle this new situation. How do I even approach or talk to his kids? How do I deal with them? I've read articles how you shouldn't discipline, to leave that to their biological parents. But I don't know my place or role. Their ages are 3,4 and 6. Two boys and one girl. I have no kids, and have never been married. Just to add, I'm 22 (May 20th), and he's 28 going on 29 November 12th.
He does want more kids but not right now, which I agree because I am in college and so is he. How do I prepare myself to meet them, what do I say/do, what don't I say or do, and how do I prepare myself for the future role as a stepmom? Also the oldest one has ADHD, a very bad temper ( like his dad), has ODD, and maybe autistic but he's going to take him to a doctor to be tested.