lost mom's picture
lost mom

Angry Teenagers

Why are teenages girls so difficult. I have three daughters from my first marriage 20 years ago. ( 20,18, 17 and a 7 year old from my current marraiage).I have always felt guilty for breaking up the family and have been told recently by my ex-husband that I wasn't and still am not a good mother and he tells me that the girls believe that too. The girls all live with me , they all do that by their choice. The problem that I have noticed as they get older is they are never home , just to occassionaly eat and always sleep here. They all have boyfriends and always go to their homes. I would really like to spend time with these youn ladies but they don't have time for me unless they need something, like the car or money or something for school.My youngest of the 3 has recently told me that she doesn't like coming home. I don't like coming home to this either.



pokey's picture
pokey

The teen years can be difficult ones under any circumstances. It is hard to know wherein the problem lies based on your post. When you wrote "she doesn't like coming home. I don't like coming home to this either", what is it you mean by "coming home to this". What is "this"?

 

It can be seen as a somewhat positive thing that your girls at least spend time at their boyfriends' homes (assuming the boyfriends' families are there as well). I would prefer that to the pairs taking off alone somewhere all the time, don't you agree?

 

Parenting is hard. Don't let what your ex-husband says get to you. Instead, just let it firm your resolve to make things better between you and your girls. Have you tried getting the girls altogether with you and having a talk about this?

 

Have you every invited the boyfriends over for a bbq or something informal? DVD movie and snacks?

 

I've rambled, but these are just thoughts that have come into my head.

gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

Sometimes everybody just needs a fresh start.  I think that old cultures with rites of passage had it figured out.  Let's have a chance to start over with each other, you know?  I made mistakes with my kids, and they, well, they behaved like children.