nicole74's picture
nicole74

8 yr SD still needs my husband to lay with her till she sleeps

Hey Everyone,

I am a new stepmom, a little less then a year. My husband is an amazing father. He is very caring , patient and loving and active with my SD. When I grew up in my household it was rare to have my dad play game, read or tuck me in, so maybe this is why it feels weird to me.

She will be turning 8 next week. She is great about going to bed when its time , she always knows its at a certain time and does not complain. Ever since I have lived in the same house he takes her to bed, reads to her and then waits till she falls asleep, often he falls asleep too and I have to get him up to get out of her bed. I had figured that he enjoyed this special time reading with her and what not and asked if he would be sad when she no longer needs him, he said he will be excited and thinks it time.

My question is: How does he bring it up that its time for her to go to bed on her own gently enough that it wont upset her but firm enough that she will do it? I also wonder if she is ready, she may be an is afraid to tell her daddy, before I was in the picture she took on the female roll in the house cause she thought he was lonely. So do we wait and see if she does it on her own or do we/he initiate it?

From what I understand she used to sleep in her moms bed at that house and just started staying in her own. Any help would be great! Thanks!



M.J.O's picture
M.J.O
Nicole, Its good that your SD and her dad have a close relationship. I also have to wonder, does your SD see this time as a way of ensuring she has not lost her Dad somehow? Hopefully its not. My suggestion is that you change the routine slightly. Maybe have a family bedtime story, all 3 of you can share this time together. Even switch it around so that each of you take turns reading on different nights. Then once the story or chapter is over, SD should be set for bed, though not having dad staying by her side might take some weening. Good luck.
mandy36's picture
mandy36
if both of you tell her that she will have to go to bed on her own it may work children listen better when both parents back each other up