17 yr old stepdaughter breaking us up
As I have read many hours of articles on this topic I am seeking advice. It seems to be a very common story.... Marrried 1 year this month my husband and I were introduce by both our daughter (were Friends) who are 17 now, 2yrs ago. of course we expected challenges and decided to move in together in my home first about 8 months prior to getting married . We sat down with the girls and discussed challenges of how and what was expected of them. Both being only children found it difficult and it became competitive but in all fairness better than expected. Now things have turned to the worse. I admit that my stepdaughter had a difficult life moving from relative to relative until she was 9 yrs old when her dad took over. The problem is that she has never had any rules or responsibilities and also has never been held accountable for anything. Trust me my daughter is a pain in the neck at times too, but being her parent i follow thru and PARENT!
My husband does not and of course whenever there is a problem I go to him for help and since things are getting worse all he can say is.. "What do you want me to do I've talked to her and she doesn't listen.". She is a slob leaves dirty stinky laundy all over , feeds all her friends does'nt clean up ignores me when I ask her to do it, I could go on but I am sure you know where I'm heading. The real problem is that along with caring for a family and home I work 3 jobs and feel I really need the help. Also we have been fighting so much that he keeps telling me that he will ask her to leave but he will have to go to! Its not what I want, but I'm losing my mind. He has also told me that I should get over it because hshe is his responsibility and intends on having her stay here as long as she wants so she can have a good start through college.Can you believe this. As of today I have made an appointment for counseling he said he would go also my daughter, his said she will not. Help