shell2703's picture
shell2703

My tips and hopefully some from yall too!

I was reading through some old post and I has some thoughts I wanted to share.  These were some things that worked with my 12 yo ADD/ Asbergerschild  he also has  impuse control issues and orginzation challenges  and also his 14 yo  sister.

I read once that Asberger kids like to see their stuff and thats why they take their stuff out of the draws and closet so I took his closet doors off and put all his stuff in clear plastic draws, Has improved the mess in his room greatly.  He no longer pulls out everything.  I did this when he was 7 before he could tell me why he would pull his stuff out.  Now when he takes every magazine off the shelf in his room. (all 100 of them) he tells me I was looking to be sure they were all there. (BYW I have recently implimented when he gets a new magazine 2 have to go till the amount gets under 50.)

Punishment - My kids lose something they like when they are in trouble however our household policy is  you can earn back what you lost.  It is a great incentive to turn bad behavier around.  If you take their favorite thing away for a week.  What's the immediate incentive to be nicer? If they know that if I straighten up I can earn it back it ususally shortens most arguments in our house.  Now I am not saying they get it back same day everytime sometimes yes For example 5 year old in walmart i having a fit. you have lost your tv watching for tonight.  They behave the rest of the time at walmart and for the first hour at home ie not asking about getting tv back.  You can give it back for an hour before bed.    This does not solve every thing but it has helped solve alot of back talking in our house.

He is very sound sensative so this was an issue in classrooms.  Markers on paper was one of our biggest issues when 3rd grade hit.  (this is the first grade that they really used markers) they would start usuing them and he would melt down.  Once we figure out the cause of the melt downs for the first month he would move to a back table before they started using them. The second month I asked him to wait to move for 1 minute of his table mates using them.  And when he could do that easily I asked him to increase it to 2 min and so on.  By end of 4th grade he no longer had to move. I am not saying the noise doesn't bother him still but he has learned how to deal with it for short time.  He is now in 6th grade came home yesterday and told me a girl was playing with her zipper and it was driving him crazy he said I did not say anything to the teacher my first thought was why not then I look at him he was proud. He was able to tough it out.

Meeting with teachers -  (he does not have a 504 since his asbergers is mild even though add is not mild and I probably will end up with a 504 this year) Every year at the begining of the school year I meet with the teachers.  I want them to know I am involved. What some of his issues are no eye contact in the begining - orgiziation etc.  I let them know that I want him to be susessful and I want to be a team with them.  I give them a print out with Asberger symptoms and highlight the ones my son shows.  This is something they can put in there file to pull out when they have a question about his behavier. 

Just some of the thing I have done that have helped it anyone has any hints on orginzation or homework I would really appriciate those. As that is where our struggles lies currently.

Michelle



2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Good for you!! You are a great Mom and your children are very lucky to have you there for them.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I find that working closely w/ my son in one-on-one situations or in small group settings makes a huge difference. This way he doesn't get so over-stimulated, and he can better focus. I also give him jobs to do around the house. He loves to help.
For socialization, we go to the park or we hold playdates at our house. We try to structure our day as best as we can, but when our son is playing, we let him be creative. He does best when he can use his imagination, rather than be forced to play a game by the rules.
Homework time is homework time, though. After school, our son sits right down and does his work before anything else. Then he can play.
As far as punishment goes, we try to nip things in the bud. Giving our son several chances or negotiation doesn't work w/ him. Taking things away is what seems to work best for us. Also rewarding positive behavior w/out going overboard also helps.
Our philosophy has been one hand washes the other. By this I mean, we give our son what he asks for (time w/ mom and dad, time with friends, outings to the park, library, whatever), then he in turn must help us out. This wld include chores around the house, good behavior, time to relax, etc.
Somedays we just go w/ the flow b/c we can't control every situation, but we do our best to make things as simple as possible for everyone. That's all we can ask for.

Only2boys's picture
Only2boys

Never thought of my playroom problems being possibly linked to my son wanting to see what belonged to him. We quite often have empy bins, even though at one point we had the bins labeled as to what was in them. I'll have to discuss this with my oldest son and see what he says. I do wonder though if the disorganization is more of a ADD problem. Most ADD kids I've known have problems organizing things. Sometimes too much is a hinderance as well.

I have read that one of the characteristics often seen in a child with Asperger's Syndrome is disorganization. This can also go along with ADD.

Just a thought... if your child is diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome it might be wise to have an IEP and be covered under IDEA and not just a 504. The procedures for school authorities and you and your child's protection is more stringent under IDEA. It doesn't mean that he is put in a special class or anything, unless it is needed to better help him. One benefit of him having a 504 or being under IDEA is that he "can" have unlimited time on tests.

Is your son on medication for ADD? ADD medication should help with the impulsivity.

Good luck!

Only

shell2703's picture
shell2703

he is on med for add adderall xr in am and adderall at lunch time. His metabolism is weird. the XR starts to wear off at 8 hrs instead of 10-12 so if he does not get the boost at lunch the last class of the day was a diaster.