mini_ross's picture
mini_ross

Asperger Syndrome

I am meeting my 6 year old cousin who has asperger syndrome for the first time tomorrow.  He is coming from Scotland (I live in Canada), with his family.  I was wondering if there were any tips that I should know when meeting him.  I know he has difficulty when he is forced to deviate from his routine and don't want to add to any stress that he may be feeling. 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks! Heather



hownaive's picture
hownaive

I teach several asperger teens and although I have been to workshops about it, I still felt like I didn't understand. You won't believe where I found the most information....Youtube.  Do a search for aspergers and there are quite a few videos that people with aspergers have made to try to help us understand them better. Some are homemade, some more professional. Some of the homemade ones, where they just start talking about themselves, were real eye openers for me. I'm glad you are making the effort to prepare yourself.

ucgirl2003's picture
ucgirl2003

Sorry for the late response, hope your visit went well. The saying about children with AS is, "if you have met a child with AS then you have met one child with AS." there are simularities and physical conditions many of them have, however there is no set pattern. They are individuals like the rest of us, only they have difficulties with social situations....there are many good books out on the subject. However, if you notice, your cousin did not look you in the eye or was fixated with something i.e., lego toys. These children are wonderful and can teach us much about being human. Hope to hear how your visit went.

MrsB's picture
MrsB

Could you please help me?  My son has always had huge problems socially. I will start at the beginning, my son had a difficult birth,starved of oxygen the hospital did a brain scan they said there was something there but nothing significant.  Did not enjoy mother and toddler groups, would rather play alone.  Preschool he cried everyday and teachers commented on how he did not interact with other children.  Infant and primary school same story I would find invitations to parties torn up and hidden in his room, he would climb into a cupboard in his room when it was school time, would not sleep through the night.  when it came to day trips out with the school, initially he wanted to go them he would end up being physically sick the day before and pleaded that he didn't have to go.  One teacher was concerned that he seemed to be in a world of his own and did not communicate with her peers.  In Secondary school he would bang his head on the wall outside because he did not want to go to school saying if he hurt himself  he would not have to go.  He would bring his sisters sleepover mattress into our bedroom and sleep on the floor because he did not want to be away from us.  He would bring his lunch home uneaten because he could not face going into the dinner hall.  If friends called for him he would hide and ask me to tell them he did not want to play. He frequently went to the medical room at school because he always felt sick and always needed the toilet.  He never went on school residential.  He is now 16 and I think his attention span is getting worse, he has only been out  about 4 times in the last 6 weeks.  He has a paper round and does motocross but gets very anxious if there is any change of routine.  there are several other problems, but a friend of mine has suggested asperger's syndrome what do you think?  Hope I have not dragged on too much.

OKCbusymom's picture
OKCbusymom

Mrs B, my heart goes out to you and your son. I seriously
recommend you call a doctor as soon as possible. I have no doubts your son is defiantly somewhere within the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Asperger's Syndrome is one of the disorders within the Autism Spectrum.

The things you mentioned that really rang an alarm in my
head were:
----->"

would rather play alone">>> this isn’t a big thing, but it is consistent
with ASD

-----> "

teachers commented on how he did not interact
with other children" >>> another issue that isn’t big by itself , but it might
suggest he didn’t know how to play appropriately with toys, which is a red flag
possibly indicating ASD

------>

"would not sleep through the night" >>>  this one thing, totally convinced me your son is within ASD. Certainly many things can cause  children to not sleep through the
night. However, I  have never met a kid yet with social issues and sleep issues
who was not within ASD

-----> "One teacher was concerned that he seemed to be
in a world of his own" >>>  Why did the school not check this out??? Where
do you live??? This is negligence on the school’s part.

------> "In Secondary school he would bang his head on
the wall outside" >>>  Ironically, I do not believe your son’s
explanation totally. Banging one’s head is a serious action; therefore, few
people do it. Usually, head banging is a result of severe allergies, serious
mental illness, or the sensory over load from ASD.                 Furthermore, this makes even
more sense when you wrote, “He would bring his lunch home         uneaten because he
could not face going into the     dinner hall.” Dinner Halls, Lunch Rooms,       Gymnasiums,
and other such areas typically cause sensory over load from ASD. Additionally,
I do not think your son was lying. People with ASD have a difficult time
understanding themselves or feelings. They frequently give us neuro-typical
people answers that cause us to leave them alone!

------>

"gets very anxious if there is any change of
routine" >>>    This is a classic ASD trait.

Until you get a diagnosis and treatment for your son, being
alone and inside is okay. My son’s ASD doctor told me once this inside alone
thing was both a coping break and a comfort time. Furthermore, being
married to a wonderful man with Asperger’s and a loving son with Autism, I know being alone and inside is the most normal thing I have read your son does.

After you get the doctor’s appointment, you should read and
read about ASD. Then ask your son to read about ASD. Self-awareness is very
helpful with ASD.

I wish you well, and please come back and let us know how
you and your son are doing.

julz's picture
julz

your mail set my brain into overdrive...i am having such a hard time with my son,aged 9,well not so much him but his school. he has just gone into a new class(1 change) also his1st male teacher(2nd change)..school does not seem to understand that change is a big thing for him, and although an educational psycologist has mentioned aspergers to me, nothing else has happened. he seriously needs some help i.e. diagnosis or something, to ensure that people are made aware of his funny little traits etc. but i dont know where to start with the process.Any helpfull tips would be gratefully accepted!good luck and best wishes to you and your son x 

Bel's picture
Bel

I understand what its like to have a child with asd and adhd, my son has both. My advice is see a doctor to get a referal to a doctor who deals with children and adults everyday with these disorders. Until i did that my son was so out of control. Keep serching until you find the right doctor for your child. Who doesn't just hand over medication. Goodluck with it just remember people out there understand!