Emmatum's picture
Emmatum

15 yr old girl and sex

our daugher who has been diagnosed with global development delay who is very popular with her peer group has had issues with her male friends touching her breasts and she being to scared to say no. so far thats as far as its gone, thank goodness. ive talked to her about good touch and bad touch and anything that the bathing suit covers is inappropriate. but from what ive been able to find so far on the internet is very disturbing, people with disabilities are 80% more likely to be sexually abused. alarm bells went off. how can i protect my child with the skills she needs to protect herself as much as possible. shes a sweet little child/young woman, and i dont want that to change by someone taking that away. any suggestions or books, sites i could read would be helpful



acitez's picture
acitez

Do you have a social worker or psychologist you work with? They probably have resources about that. I would also consider putting her on birth control. The emotional consequences of being abused are bad enough without a pregnancy, too.

Report the abuse that has already occurred. The people who are taking advantage of a delayed individual need to be pulled up by the short hairs. They aren't friends, they are predators.

Was she in a situation where there was supposed to be supervision? If so, the adults need to be reported, too.

Emmatum's picture
Emmatum

we discussed putting her on birth control but its a double edged sword i could put her on to protect her from getting pregnant but it could mean in her mind that she could go and have sex. im highly opposed to any 15 year old having sex weather its my daughter or not. and the boys who touched her are themselves disabled. i have 3 other children who have no disabilities and my youngest daughter is by far the most worrisome one i have. i want to protect her but let her have a normal life.

notmilitary's picture
notmilitary

i agree with the last post by acitez that the boys need to be reported to her school, to the parents, to whoever can put an end to it. I wouldn't be waiting around hoping that nothing more will happen. Whether those boys have disabilities themselves or not should not concern you. You are the mother of your daughter, and you want her to be safe. Do whatever it takes.

I'm sory if I am wrong, but I get the impression that you are not taking any action. If I'm wrong that what I write next won't matter, but just in case, I'll write anyway.

In life, you can't just let things happen. If you don't do anything now, your hoping is not going to help solve the problem. One has to take action in whatever appropriate way there is or else be blown around by every wind (or breeze) that comes by.

As an example, I went to a restaurant the other day with my wife. My in-laws were in town and were going to be in the hotel lobby at 1:45. We figured we'd be done with lunch in time to meet them and see them off.

The lunch was rather late. I finished half of mine and asked to take home the rest. The waitress said I couldn't. I asked for the manager. But he wouldn't come out. I asked again and followed the waitress to the kitchen where I found the manager. I told him, "Do you want to give me my food, which I am paying for? or do you want it on the floor? It's your choice." He didn't want to give me my food, so I went back to the table and gently dropped all of the cotents of the dishes on the floor near the table.

I knew there was no way to change the situation, or to change the manageer, without taking some action. Maybe now the manager allows people to take their uneaten food home.

This may seem unrelated, but it's not. You should control your life and your daughters life as much as you can. When something bad comes along -- DO SOMETHING!

acitez's picture
acitez

If you are not able to supervise her closely all the time, you need to put her on birth control, and keep talking to her about the importance of keeping sex for that one special person that she will want to marry when she is an adult.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

For her sake and yours put her on birth control. In my line of work I have seen many instances of young women getting pregnant and not being able to handle the baby. You will end up raising another child.

If your daughter cannot stop these boys then they need to be reported. At some point in her life your daughter may meet someone with whom she could have a fulfilling relationship. If she has furthur negative interactions with men, that could cause major problems for your daughter. Help her now so she can have as good a future as possible.

acitez's picture
acitez

hey guy, I think what you did at the restaurant was out of line. I am sorry that you got poor service. Instead of making a mess, just tell your friends, using the name of the business.

tamz's picture
tamz

I'm sorry notmilitary, but your ridiculous behavior in the restaurant negates any advice you have to give. Dumping food on the floor did not solve your problem, it just made you look like an irrational fool.

I agree that this mom should do something and she is trying to figure out just what she should do. She is soliciting advice and I think she has gotten some good recommendations. I too believe she should report the behavior, but I would be reluctant to take advice from someone who advises me to act like an angry child.