I think that sucks. You need to admit that he is not going to be there for the kids and do the best YOU can do - you can be a great role model by being the best mom you can be. It is so hard to be a single parent - my heart goes out to you.

Me too Me too.  My son figured out about his ex after he "borrowed"  $200.00 from him.  So far he has never paid it back.  It is a long story but I made my son get a job at 15 since we didn't get help from his dad.  But my son let his dad talk him into keeping up with he money.  I totally understand about doing all the work and getting none of the credit.  With my other two sons they have not figured out whose the bad or the good parent they just think we are both not so good.  But my third son figured it out after the borrowed money.  At 16 though I not sure he realizes how much on his side I am.  He doesn't want to be controlled.  I trying to be patient and wait it out.  I feel for all of you.  This is the toughest part of our life but this too will pass.  Love Love Love.

hi,
I have similar situation, and mine almost drove me to the mad house without me realising it or anyone coming to my aid. I got pregnant in my late thirties- and my then British man friend was not supportive at all. I felt completely rejected- given that I was alone here in the U.S.A, meaning, I have no family support system- it was so hard doing it all alone. Some of things that led me to believe that I might have lost it mentally was how I made my decisions. I was so indicisive and made irrational decisions that were so dentremental to myself and my son... One of those decisions was making the choice of-
moving with my then 2 weeks old child- 45 minutes away from all that was familiar, in the main city- where there were easy access to transportation and stores- to a town- I barely knew anyone..
(And also moving to London when he was 6 months old- I remember standing in the cold London night on waiting for a bus for more than two hours- I had thought the day was new year's eve. I was hoping going to church to get the peace I thought I needed- only to realise that the night was not 31st but 30th, December..
When I moved out of the city to the Suburb, I had no car and no body to help me.. I also had a cecerian section which means I was not required to carry any heavy object- but given that I had no form of help- I had to do everything by myself.. I drove every where with my son. I got around by having to constantly rent a car to move around. Total strangers were the angels that help me..

It was a really hard and stressful time- My then ex would not even talk to me or help me in any way- given that he lived in a different country- was not helpful at all.
I tried to establish a relation between him and my son,( the only reason was because I had no help and was hoping that he would in some human mind reach out to me- I was dying in depression) but every effort I made was negated by his cold nonchalant behavior- The one that really hurt the most- was that he constantly ignored my son when I take him to England to meet with him.. My son fell off a stool once and his father would not even pick him up the floor because he was busy feeding the son he wished was his... He had chosen to keep a child that was born to ( almost the same period that I had my son) him by his ex girl friend- She had refused to go back to him, after she discovered how cold and unkind he was.
Do you know he went to court to have the court give him the legal right of the child he thought he had with his ex- whom unfortunately turned out to be from her ex boyfriend... He now has the boy stay in his house every other week- but he would not have my son come to visit him or even volunteer to come and see my son in the U.S.A.

My heart is broken into so many pieces, but thank God, I am healing now.
I have managed to get child support through the American court system and now he pays Child support- 250.00 british pounds-
mean while he spent thousands of pounds to fight his ex girl friend for the right to have the boy he thought was his to be in his life..
I am now thinking of asking the court to do away with the child support that reluntantly payst since it doesn't really cover much of the expense with my son.. I feel that I am in bondage with that link- I want to cut that off- hopefully it would help me heal mentally...
I am so tired of feeling like I have to depend on him for my son's upkeep. He should do that volunterily..
I did every thing i could to have him help me- given that my child is a boy and needs his father more than anything- My son loves his father, but the non response he gets from his father can be so painful to watch..
I even moved to U.K, so to make it easy for him to have access in his son's life, but that has been so depressing with the way, I was treated by him when I arrived England and needed a place to stay-
My son's dad leaves in a ten bedroom mansion and he would not even spare us a room in a cold England night...
I have suffered so much, but thank God, mentally, I am getting better.
My problem with me, is how to get him out of my system... I really want to forget about him and how he had treated me.. He had helped me financially sometimes, but most time, I had to ask him and I hate it with passion..
I have managed to complete my M.A, degree now without any family support system and I am now looking for a better professional job... Hopefully things would get better..