Pregnancy
Discussion Title: Pros and Cons of being a single parent
Created by: Host Marti
Created on: Tue, 05/22/2007 - 10:15pm.
Created by: Host Marti
Created on: Tue, 05/22/2007 - 10:15pm.
Hey All
I was just wondering what you all think is the best thing about being a single parent and what is the hardest thing about being a single parent.
Marti
- Login or register to reply
- report spam
Replied: 5/31/2007 2:09pm.
Pro is knowing that you did it on your own and can take credit for all the success your child has
Con - not having a male father figure for my son. I know he misses that father-son connection
Replied: 5/31/2007 11:04pm.
Hey choctaw,
I can totally see why both of those things would be your pros and cons. It has to feel good from time to time to know that you are the only one you have to answer to but I also understand how hard it must be for your son and for you sometime not to have a male father figure to depend on.
Marti
http://www.familyeducation.com/home/
Replied: 6/6/2007 1:28pm.
Pro: I am able to instill values without interference. For example, we don't watch TV in my house during the week and no one else is there to tell me otherwise.
I've had to creatively find ways ( and have!!) to build a family and community. Reaching out and figuring it out has been most enlightening.
I've discovered that lots of families are imperfect so I no longer use the traditional family as a measuring stick for my life and family.
Replied: 6/7/2007 9:02pm.
Hey Pbjone,
Welcome to the boards. Oh, I agree with you, I have never met any perfect families yet. And traditional doesn't necessarily mean perfect or even better. I think lots of different types of families work and that is so important for people to see and realize! There are a lot more non-traditional families than there are traditional families these days!
Stick around and post more!
Marti
http://www.familyeducation.com/home/
Replied: 6/14/2007 9:39am.
Hi,
I just found this site beacuse I am a Mum on my own with a
16 and 14 yr old daughter looking for support and someone to talk
to.
The best part is being free of a controlling husband who
drank too much and was sooo miserable to be around!!!! The girls and I
have enjoyed a peace in our own cute little place which is way more
imporatnt than being trapped in a bad place even though it was very
financially secure..it is not worth it!!!
The hardest part of being on my own is the huge
responsibility to bring up these 2 girls and the worries that I
have to deal with because there is no one who understands or who can
share the stresses of just plain everyday living!!! If you want to even
get away for a week in the smmer or share driving to activities it is
all up to you...no one to help!!!!!
The answer I suppose is to reach out to other parents and help each
other but when you work all day and cook and keep the house in order
there is not too much energy left!!!!!
Colleen
Replied: 6/14/2007 10:19pm.
Hey Colleen
Welcome to the boards. It must be hard being a single parent to two teenage girls. Please also visit our parents of teens board--there are lots of great people there too.
I think reaching out to other parents is so important, it lets us know that we are not alone and that this too shall pass!
Please keep posting!
Marti
http://www.familyeducation.com/home/
Replied: 6/22/2007 8:02pm.
I completely agree with the pro you cited. I place restrictions on TV time and video gaming. I am very glad there is no one around to disagree with what I believe to be best. Also, the way I discipline my kids is up to me. Things that I believe to be morally wrong and I want to teach them right, my ex would have laughed at.
The big con for me is the fact that there is no one there to share their achievements with who supposedly loves them and cares for them as much as I do. Grandparents are great but it just isn't the same. Or on the flip side when they do something wrong, someone to say, "you know, it's not so bad". I find that the hardest thing. Because of this, I find I am harder on my kids because I have no one to create a balance with.
Replied: 6/22/2007 8:09pm.
Colleen, I hear you. It has been 4 years for me raising a 12 year old and an almost 10 year old, both boys. I have been especially "down in the dumps" of late. I have very little if no support from my immediate family. I'm not particularly good at asking for help and have been particularly lonely over the last little while. My ex-husband is an alcoholic but has many, many other issues as well. My worries among many others are that my kids will inherit the gene for alcoholism or addiction. That keeps me awake many nights. Anyway, you certainly are not alone!
Replied: 6/27/2007 9:44am.
Hi Marti ~ (new user here)
I have to say the best thing of being a single parent (my daughter is 14) is that you get to spend quality time on a one-on-one basis which allows your child to really know you as a person, and not just a parent. You can pass on your values with greater clarity and definition.
The hardest part would have to be dealing with the child's hurts and disappointments that occur due to lack of unity between his/her mother and father. It takes awareness, love and compassion to counsel your child when they don't understand the actions or words of the non-custodial parent. It's worth the effort though!
Replied: 6/27/2007 10:55pm.
Hey vicky,
Welcome to the boards!! I know it has to be hard to deal with the disappointments that your daughter deals with---it sounds like you are very aware and I am sure she appreciates that.
Stick around and post on lots of our boards.
Marti
http://www.familyeducation.com/home/