brant1126's picture
brant1126

Mother won't let father be in sons life

Hey there. I have a problem that needs to be corrected. I am a single father of a son. His mother and I had agreement for me to see him mon, wed, fri sat and sun one week and tue and thur the next week. And holidays were split she had him during day and me at nights for the holidays. Well, recently she told me that she was just going to let me see him everyother weekend and thats it cause she said he don't listen to her when he comes back from my house. He's just turned 2 and thats how 2 year olds act at times. She'd pick him up when I had him after work bout 10:45pm and if he was asleep she'd wake him up "to spend more time with him" but actually its cause shes not a morning person and she don't want to get up before 11am. She has another child with her current boyfriend and I believe they are showing more attention to her other child that way my son acts this way with her or hes not listening to her boyfriend cause he learning who his real dad is cause his mom tells him to call him dad. We going to court on Nov 30 to get visits back and I know that dads get screwed in court. I pay $70 a week in support and $30 a week in medical ins. I need some advice. She wouldn't even let me talk to him on the phone the other day. This is tearing me apart. Please help!!!!



Bulldog Mom's picture
Bulldog Mom

I'm not sure where you are located but if you are in Ohio, I would not worry too much.  Ohio is very much pro-father-I found that out the hard way.  I am a single mother of a son and my ex is very controlling.  Although my son asked not to have additional time with his father and I tried to fight it in court ( I spent over $14,000 on legal fees and will probably never get out of the debt) the court said that he should be with his father at least 50% of the time.  And although he makes over $80,000 more a year than I do,  I am still reponsible for paying 50% of any fees that our son  may aquire.  For example, I just shelled out $100 for a dental bill. 

My advise would be to write down everything on a calendar.  Write down when you attempted to call your son and what you were told.  Write down what you did with your son when he was with you.  Write down what she told you as she picked him up.  Be as accomadating as you can stand to be and don't start any arguments.  You will need to show the court that you are the strong one.  Just make sure all your ducks are in a row so to speak.  God Bless You and good luck.

beatifulmom23's picture
beatifulmom23

that is the sadest thing that i have ever heard for once a father wants his baby i think more fathers should be praised for this.i feel for you and this could feel like the worst time but it will get better if there is a desent judge and you have a good lawyer you should get your son back it sounds like all she is doing is hurting this child and that will cause more damage to him in the long run he is only 2 but they have feelings to i guess she doesn't see it that way she is the worst kind of mom she should be looking at what is best for him good luck keep in touch

gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

Some days it seems like we lost the sexual revoluton, doesn't it.

Trisscity's picture
Trisscity

My brother is going to court on the 14th of December for a visitation hearing. She  won't let him see  his daughters (7 and 1 year) at all. We have a relationship with the 7 year old and everytime we talk with her she says, "I want to come over but mommy says no." Yeah, she'll actually let us speak with her on the phone but we never get to see her. The 1yr old we've never even met. Anyway, I'll post more about what happened, but I'm thinking for the 7yr old he'll just get standard visitation which is every other weekend. It's a little different with toddlers so I'm not sure what "standard" would be in your case. You will definitely get some sort of order but it may not be the visitation schedule you want. The arrangement you had with your ex previously is not typical but the court looks at the best interest of the child and your schedule. Keep in mind that when the child reaches school age the off and on weekly visits are not reasonable unless you live in the same school district that the child will be attending. Good luck and let us know what happens. 

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Brant, let us know what happend in court on the 30th.

brant1126's picture
brant1126

We ended up getting a continuance until dec 5th.  But i told the judge what i wanted and they agreed to it.  So i get him every tuesday and every other thur when i don't get him that weekend.  Plus i get him xmas eve and day father day, half day on his bday, 2 extra days in summer for vacation, thanksgiving every other year, everyother memorial and labor day, my bday, and easter every other year.  Halloween is whoever day it falls on and i get him that day until 2011.  Already checked that out.  So thanks everyone for your support.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

 Way to go Brant. Congratulations. I hope you and your son have a merry Christmas together.

melandhantz's picture
melandhantz

We are having a problem with the mother of my son's baby. She just had him 06/07/08 he was 2 months prem. he only weighs a little under 3 pounds. My son just wants to be in his life and we already know we are in for a fight. She is very aggressive and manipulative. My son left her because she was very violent and was continuously punching him, slapping him, and belittling him in public. But he really is a great kid and just wants to be a good dad. What or who can we talk to. We need to find out about his rights. She won't let him in the hospital, he can't get in without her because he is in NICU unit.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Since they are not married father has no rights until paternity is proven. Your son, not anyone else, needs to file with the court to establish paternity. Once paternity is established he can then file for custody, or visitation.. He can expect child support to also be ordered. Any violent episodes by the mother need to be reported to the police, this will help your sons case. Help your son, but do not become so involved that you are the ones driving the case. Good luck.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Has paternity been established? If not, that may be the first thing that needs to be done. Your son may get visitation, but he should also expect to be ordered to pay child support. From what you say, the mother has done nothing wrong. Careful the way you enter in to these types of cases. Lawyers will say you have a case when you may not have one. What state is this happening in?