pumkin757's picture

I need some advice on my 19 week old baby and his dad.?

My 19 week old baby cries hysterically everytime his dad holds him, The
father and i don't live together but was around throughout the whole
pregnancy and up to now, but recently he have not see him on a regular,
so now he sees him every other day. it breaks my heart to hear him cry
and have no clue what can cause him to cry like that with his father.
Any suggestions would be helpful,

stephy's picture

Is the father comfortable with his baby or is he a bit nervous still. Even very young babies can pick up on emotions like this and it may be making him feel slightly insecure. At his age, the only fears he has are loud noises and falling. If he doesn't feel he is being held securely it may upset him. Some people, men and women, who are not used to handling babies may send off this aura. Do you spend a lot of time handling him yourself? He may just miss the comfort of his Mummy's arms, however briefly.

pumkin757's picture

His father is very comfortable holding him and taking care of him but for the last couple of weeks, when his father holds him he cries and cries and feel so bad because i dont know what is causing him to react like that and i want to fix whatever it is, it bothers me so much that at night i lay there just thinking about what makes him react so bad.

gail's picture

With my kids at about 6 months they developed separation - - awareness, not really anxiety.  With my first-born it was really odd, she was fine with most people but when my sister (who was over for dinner a couple of times a week) would hold her she would freak out.  We finally figured out that the baby thought that we were both mommy, but that my sister was mommy with something wrong.  It resolved after about 6 weeks.  Be patient.

   In addition to that, even if dad is always in the house, there are times when kids just want mommy.  To balance that out, all six of my kids, their first word was Daddy.  Life is not fair.   '-)

ohmamma's picture

Hi Honey I feel for you. Babies are very sensitive to smell, so maybe you could keep an item of clothing belonging to your sons father at your house and put it in his bed when he sleeps and also, on occassions, wear it yourself when you hold him. Ask your ex to wear the same scent that is on the clothing when he visits, your baby will soon recognise the smell. Also when your ex visits you could sit next to each other on the couch whilst he is holding the baby and both of you talk and laugh with him, he will soon associate daddys visits as a happy time.

mccoy's picture

ihave the same problem,but my kids lost there dad to a truckdrive not paying attion the the stop sign.know im doing it on my own.i just what too say you will get thur it one step at a time.