scors1's picture
scors1

How do I deal w/ my 13 y/o twin daughters who are jealous, making me feel guilty to give attention to my fiancee?

Some background: I am divorced for 8 years and have always spent more than enough quality time with my daughters. She is also divorced and has one son who's mature enough to understand, and the other is in college.   The problem: My fiancee is seeing a "competition" between my daughters and herself, saying that the situation is causing tention and hurting our relationship. At times, my daughters complain in front of her, and I do not know how to confront them about it. Yes, I am somewhat guilty of giving in to my daughters when they pull my strings. To me, it seems that they are stuggling to understand the difference in the type of love or attention I give to them, and my (soon to be ex?) fiancee. Some sample quotes from my daughters... How come you always want to be with her so much? You always open the door for her and not me... You laugh at everything she says... You hold hands so much... Do you love her more than me??   How do I explain this to my daugthers? Please help!

canyongoat's picture
canyongoat

Without knowing you all its hard to make a good suggestion, Just a thought.
I have 1 son and 2 daughters all grown.
I always thought I was there for my kids and I suppose I was for the most part.
I look back and can see our lifes more clearly now.

I just want to say be careful, take a hard look at your situation, try to put everything in pespective and do your best.
Are your girls jelous for no reason or does it have some validity?

When they are grown you want to look back and feel good about your choices.

I have good memories and I also have some I wish I could change in a major way.

My children all respect me and treat me very good.....they still drive me crazy from time to time, but I love being a part of their lives.

I dont beat myself up over bad choices in the past though I probebly deserve it and I am blessed with 3 wonderful children.

Im not saying your fiancee is a bad choice, I hope she is wonderful and if she is Im sure your daughters will see that and everything will turn out good.

Im just saying be careful....Good Luck

L.B's picture
L.B

if your daughters are jealous and make you feel giulty about you spending time with your fiance thats i just selfish and mean i mean if you really love him and they cant see that and cant repect that they should feel like crap