Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Down time with nothing to do

My ex left after I gave birth to our twin daughters, so I raised the girls by myself. Recently, he has resurfaced and expressed a greater interest in spending time with them. It took months of arguments, but finally, we decided he would take them on the weekends. After devoting 9 years to my children, I’m suddenly left with extra time on my hands. This should be a dream come true, but I find myself very lonely. Weekends seem quiet and empty, and I have no idea how to fill them. Does anyone have any suggestions?



JohnsMom's picture
JohnsMom

Think about the hobbies and pastimes you enjoyed before you became a mother. Are you a reader? Do you like yoga? Other than being a mother, who are you? What do you like to do? Join a book club, a movie club, or a weekly mahjong game. Trust me; although it may not seem like it now, free time is a blessing, so enjoy it!

elisar's picture
elisar

I understand how you feel as my daughter recently went to college and I miss her like crazy. One thing I remind myself of is that I want to be a good role model fior her and my son. So, I need to be a whole person - not just a mom. I started back doing something I love in my free time - pottery. At first it felt really selfish to do something just for me, but now I know it's necessary to be well-rounded and SANE - for me and my kids! I also force myself to get out of the house - either for a walk or to the mall or something. And, I luckily have some friends int he same boat and it really helps to talk to them.
Elisar

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

It must be a hard adjustment to make, but I think things will get easier for you. Right now it sounds like things seems empty and stange, but in a few weeks, I bet you will be enjoying this new-found time to yourself! Think of it as a positive for you and for your kids -- they are getting to know their dad. Good luck!