TIFFGWILK's picture
TIFFGWILK

Dating a Full Time Dad

I have a 4year old myself...in a totally different spot then this guy. He has a 10 year old daughter the pretty much gets her way. She hates women around her dad...we will be on  the phone and she interrupts...I stayed the night at his house and she was so mad at him that now he does not want me around her. Which is fine...but the mom is not around...he has complete full custody of her...so he never gets a break...I am looking for some advice on what to do. I want to see him and spend time with him but she makes it impossible...help me. Please.



susanc's picture
susanc

Not to get into a long story here,but I do know alot about parenting a step-daughter.I take the side of the step-daughter! This child has been abandoned by bio-mom.All she has is her father, as far as I am concerned she is acting  normally.As far as the father needing a break, it will have to wait till his daughter is more adjusted.The only time you should have  spent the night at his house, was after you were married! How confusing for a young girl, and what kind of message does that send her ? If this relationship is to the point that the father does not want you around,there is a huge red flag in your face... get out. If you think this relationship may develope into something, then go slow.You need to work on a relationship with the daughter.You need to back down and let her have her father. She is a child, and already has to deal with too much.Not to mention you also have a child to deal with. The decisions you both make now, are going to affect these kids! Please remember these are kids that have been hurt by divorce and abandonment. There behavior at times is going to seem impossible, It's then that you need to be where they are and love them the most. Good luck to you both.

Trisscity's picture
Trisscity

I remember being this little girl. (ha ha) I never remember my father's relationship with my mother because they split when I was young. We visited him every other weekend and it was always just me him and my brother. Then he starting dating the woman who is now my step-mother. I don't remember her EVER staying the night when we were around. Eventually they moved in together and I was very attached to my father. She didn't really seem to interfere. She developed her own relationship with me which took time. And the funny thing is when my dad said he was going to marry her I cried and said I wanted him to marry my mother. I don't even remember doing that. My step-mom told me about it a few years ago. Even after all that time and never  even knowing what it was like to have my mother and father together that is still what I hoped for. This child you speak of, all she has is dad. I agree with someone about staying the night. That probably should not have happened unless she was overnight at a relative's or something. If it's real serious then you have to let him be a father first and then take his lead as to when is the best time to bring you back into the picture. When that happens it'll need to be slow. If it's not real serious I'd considering getting out now and going forward let this be a learning experience.