softballdemon's picture
softballdemon

Sister and sister and now baby brother fighting oh no

ok my 13 year old is now fighting again with her 9 year old sister for no reason. when i ask her why she does it she just walks away ignoring me but when i force her to tell me by telling her that if she doesn't she will be grounded she says just because i want to see what she will do. i do not know why she does this but it is very nerve racking because now her younger sister is thinking that it is ok to fight for no reason with her younger brother who is 5 almost 6 on march 2. i don't know why my girls think that it is ok to fight amongst themselves let alone drag their brother into it i am at the end of my strand with them being this way can i please get some advice i am in need of it!! thank you



gail's picture
gail

Sometimes you just deal with the behavior--I think kids get in to bad habits.  I would probably prepare myself for about 3 weeks of correcting the picking a fight behavior every time it happened. 

  I would start by having a family meeting about courtesy, maybe even etiquette--pleases and thank yous and napkins in our lap and introducing yourself and respecting people's ownership of their possessions and thank you notes and the whole nine yards.  NOT about fighting, about courtesy.  Let them know you expect them to be courteous to each other.  Have a nice dinner where you can practice table manners.  Help the little boy with thank you notes (the big sisters can do the actual writing) after his Birthday. 

soontobestepsis's picture
soontobestepsis

You should split them up when this occurs. When you show them that it is wrong to do this and give them a little time to cool off they are great.

jimrich's picture
jimrich

This opinion was removed by the author

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Interesting--the original post talks about fighting, which I interpret to be arguing. Jimrich interprets the fighting as hitting, because of the lens of his childhood that he sees through. Softballdemon, if you see this, would you clarify whether this problem was arguing or hitting?

There are many problems caused by poor parenting. Some problems come on as the result of combining families. There are also some children who are reared by conscientious, loving parents, who have problems with violence.

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Even if everything seems to be going well in your home, it wouldn't hurt to take a parenting class. Here are a few of the things you could learn: a better understanding of age-related development, lots more strategies for preventing and solving problems, age-appropriate chore expectations, ways to increase your own happiness and the happiness of your children.

You could also find out if what you are going through is normal, or if it is something that would best be handled by a professional.