Petronella's picture
Petronella

Sibling Rivalry

How do I deal with siblings rivalry especially when they both want the same things.  For example when one child ask for one thing and it's the only one and the other one comes along and ask for the sam thing.  How should this be handle without looking as if I'm taking one side over another.



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

This is an easy one. If your children both want to play w/ the same toy, teach them the concept of taking turns, playing together and sharing. If one child insists on having the toy first, remind that child that it's not his/her turn and to wait. If that child keeps insisting, then try distracting him/her w/ something else. If the problem persists, use effective discipline (like time-out) to teach the child that his/her behavior is not ok.
If your children both want the last cookie, split it in half and tell them they need to share it b/c it's the last one. If they're not happy w/ that solution, then tell them nobody gets the cookie.
If they both want the same purse in the mall, but you only have enough money for one, tell them you'll buy the purse, but that they'll have to share it. Say, I only have enough money for one. If they don't like that option, tell them they can pick out 2 cheaper items that add up to the same price as the purse. If that doesn't work, walk out of the store w/ nothing.
Another idea: Teach your children the value of working to get what they want. Offer them an allowance. Let's say, at the end of each month, have them count up what they've earned. Then take them to the store and let them choose what they want to buy for themselves. They may get the same thing or they may choose different things. But at least they worked to get what they wanted, and this, in turn may deter them from bickering so much as they do now. You also will have a more peaceful household! 8-)

Synergy's picture
Synergy

you have to be fair.. I used to be like that when I was a kid and my mom always being fair to us. If I wanted something she'll make sure if my sister also wanted it. Or if she can't afford to bought us what we want, she won't buy it cuz she knew it'll create chaos.. :)

donnaj's picture
donnaj

My parents taught us to share from an early age...if it was the last cookie...we made homemade ones...and shared the batteer bowl together...mom always made things taste better than store bought...we also had a christmas wish list...we knew there was a limit...and chose one or two major giftts...Also when we got older...we got paperroutes, mowed lawns, pulled weeds, babysat and earned money for things we wanted...taught patience to work together share...the house was always more peaceful too...I hope I helped...donnaj :-)