nzermum's picture

Wetting Pants at School

Hi there

I am needing some advice my 9 yr old daughter wet her pants at school a month or so ago, she hasnt had an accident since she was 5 years old and she doesnt wet the bed. The teacher rang me and asked me to come down to the school, she explained that my daughter had asked to do to the bathroom and she had said yes straight away when she didnt return after 5mins she sent another girl to go check on her and of course the girl came running back in yelling shes wet her pants, much to my daughters embarrasement. I asked my daughter what happened and she just said she couldnt hold on. I thought she is a bit old for this and should be able to control it but let it go. Since this issue she has started wetting her bed and had wet her pants 1 other time when at ballet. (this time she wasnt allowed to go to the toilet straight away but only had to wait 5 mins). I have had her to the doc twice and eliminated urinary tract infect and we have had no big events or up heavals, does any one else have a child who has had an accident at school... how did you deal with it??? Thanks

michsully80's picture

I have a 8 year old step daughter. I am not sure if this is the same for boys, but my daughter was having the same problem peeing in her pants. I don't think it happens at school, but it happens at home and at stores. I had my mother talk to her to see what was the matter. I figured my daughter would tell her like kids talk to friends. My daughter told her that she holds her pee because it feels good. 8 years old is around the age of sensations. I have been reading about this now. It will take around 2 years before she starts her period. I don't know if this is helpful to you. But it is something to think about for your son.

mgm1's picture

Yes, my 8 year old daughter has been wetting her pants off and on for years. I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. She has seen a doctor and he has no explanation for her condition. She is ADHD, wheather this has anything to do with or not, I don't know. Frustrated,

acitez's picture

If urinary tract problems have been thoroughly ruled out, just relax. I don't know of any adults w/o medical conditions who wet their pants in public. If it's about getting attention, give her attention for other things. Having her peers make fun of her is a natural consequence that she will respond to if she can.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

My son has a processing disorder, not ADHD, and he has occasional accidents too. He still wears a diaper at night and wakes up wet many mornings. During the day he's pretty good, except he tends to wait til the last minute to use the bathroom. Therefore he needs reminders and coaxing to prevent an accident from occuring. He just turned 5.

tristansmom's picture

Nzermum...I hope your daughter is doing better. It has been two months since my 14-year-old daughter Tristan came down with the flu. It was real bad, it kept her down for about a week. After wetting her bed four times the first day, I ran out and got her some Pull-ups. She has occasionally wet her pants/bed since childhood, but never enough to be worried about. We went through a couple packs of pull-ups during her illness. Often she'd wet while sleeping, but sometimes she'd tell me she had an accident while awake. I didn't worry about it, poor kid was sick.

Anyway, she's been okay health-wise for seven weeks now....but she continues to pee her pants. She did it at home today talking on the phone to a friend (she said she forgot to go) and then at the grocery store this afternoon (I turned around and saw her frantically doing the "potty dance" - before I could direct her to the potty, she wet her pants - she again said she forgot to go). And yesterday she peed her pants at the playground as she was babysitting a 9 year old and 5 year old for our neighbors - she said she was having fun playing and didn't know she had to go.

Sometimes she's okay for a couple days, but sometimes it's like the last four days - 7 daytime accidents and 3 wet beds. She's peed her pants a couple times in school, but mostly it's away from there. She has been upset when it happens, but lately she is more resigned to it, simply letting me know she's wet and not seeming as upset.

She's in pull-ups at night - she hasn't been able to stay dry routinely since she had the flu. And I'm about ready to step her back into pullups during the day. But I feel so bad for her! Any suggestions?

father_of_2's picture


ADHD can affect it.. purely because they forget or get so engrossed into what they're doing that they don't realize they have to go until it's too late.

If you monitor how often she needs to go and then remind her every so often if you think she should have gone by then it should be okay.

I have to do this with my 15 y/o when he is playing video games.. He also has ADHD

duke 00's picture
duke 00

I'm new here, but am extremely frustrated w/ my 7 year old boy. He has NEVER been fully potty trained. This includes nighttime bed wetting. Now he is in the 2nd grade and is still have problems wetting his pants during the day. It doesn't matter where we are he'll have accidents. Sometimes he'll go up to 3 weeks w/out an accident, but then goes right back to it. His biggest problem is that he is too embarrased to tell somebody that he has to go. If he's at home he just won't go b/c he thinks he'll miss out on going w/ the guys somewhere or playing w/ a friend and thinks it's not cool to go so will we his pants. Today a neighbor boy was over and he POOPED his pants b/c he thought the boy would leave if he left to go to the bathroom. We have taken him to the urologist and he's on medication for overactive bladder so he won't feel like he has to go all the time, but doesn't seem to help. My Mother says that there is something disturbing him and he needs to talk to someone other than us about it. We are so afraid that the kids at school are going to start making fun of him and call him bad names for the rest of his school years. Please, if there is anyone out there w/ this severe of a problem we would take any advice.

acitez's picture

It sounds like your doctor is addressing the physical problems. Why don't you ask the Dr what your expectations should be, and take your mom's advice and go see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

My oldest son just turned 6. He has some developmental issues. He is potty trained but still wears a diaper at night. Often he wakes up wet. The pediatrician said this is a fairly common problem in children and said it's developmental. It may or may not be related to my son's other issues, we're not sure. We contacted a pediatric urologist who said she doesn't see kids for bed wetting until 8 yrs old. During the day, my son is pretty good. However, he has had a few accidents (pee and seldom poop). I find that if he's distracted, he doesn't want to go to the bathroom. We have to take him there and often make sure he goes. We do this about every 2-2 1/2 hrs. We also informed our son's teacher that she needs to make him use the toilet, not just ask if he has to go. I told her he may need to be brought to the bathroom even if he refuses to go. So far that's been working for us. I'm a bit concerned this yr b/c my son's entering public school. Before this he was in a spec ed school where the teachers were very attentive to his every need. We hope they will be just as attentive in his new school. Over the summer, I can say my son has had maybe 3-4 accidents during the day. Once he was at a friend's house. I felt so bad b/c he didn't even realize it at first or even get embarrassed, but the other kids noticed and said eewww, gross. So, I understand how you feel. Some kids just have an underdeveloped bladder, and it takes time for them to mature. Stay on top of the situation, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Also, if you find you're not getting the support from your son's school, speak up. For health reasons, it is their responsibility to address the situation right away. You also don't want your son to feel badly about this. It's not his fault. If you can get your son over the embarrassment of having to use the toilet by telling him everyone does it, that wld be your first step. You might want to also cut back slightly on fluids (especially before bedtime, and see if that helps. I hope things get better for him soon. Good luck!

sconochini's picture

Who is the teacher to deny my son the right to go use the bathroom?
boss can not deny employers to use bathroom
prison officers can not deny inmates to use bathroom
principal can not deny teachers to use bathroom
therefore teachers should not
deny students to use bathroom.

so i told him if you need to go for a wee ask your teacher, and if she tells you no JUST WALK OUT THE CLASS AND GO TO THE TOILET and tell them DADDY said you can go to the loo when you need to.

i know some people will say , your child should wait until recess

what happen if is an emergency e.g. stomach ache or urges to pee?? , bodily function DON`T KNOW ABOUT time specially in a emergencies cases like diarrhea

You teacher , you can not deny my child the right to use the toilet if he has an emergency , what would happen if a student have an accident and wet pants or have a stomach ache in front of a whole class because the teacher denied a student to use bathroom ??
it would be anecdotal for the teacher but for the pupil will be a traumatic and humbling experience for the rest of his/her life and many
many classmates will talk about that during years and the pupil will be humiliated again (and sometimes in front of new people).

why some teachers deny pupils the use of bathroom? students ask for the toilet to avoid some lesson

they would take drugs in bathroom , they can suffered a heart attack along the way......


i think some teachers dont let students use the bathroom because want see them with his/her pants-wetted , some teacher have behaviour pedophile

so I recommend to all parents , tell you child that you should wait until recess if you can hold , ok i'm agree , but if you child has an emergency , JUST WALK AND GO ,
teacher is not nobody to deny your child to use the bathroom , message to all parents DON'T LET YOUR CHILD BE HUMILIATED BY A B------ TEACHER. OK?!!

i see here many teachers are proud of about that. You are lucky my kid isn't in your class , you would have a big problem with me;
but anyway some day you could have a problem with a violent father .

Important: if you are physically strong and athletic person:

If a teacher hit your kid because he left the class because he used the bathroom (forget court because they will do nothing and you'll spend too much money paying
lawyer etc ) you should take the justice by your own hand without fear. Be carefull because you can be tracked (cammeras in school etc ) you can spend some months in Jail and you will get criminal record and that's very bad to find a job , so you should wear some balaclava or wig/glassess and don't talk/ shout to avoid him/her to recognize your voice.
if you know a place without too much people where you can meet with the teacher would be better , but if you know about martial arts you shouldn't be care about people.

advice: attacking from behind

Believe me , if you are strong and athletic (better if you have some knowledge about martial arts) and don't open your mouth and you have your face hidden , you won't be tracked by the police and you shouldn't be afraid.

if you are not physically strong and athletic person and/or you fear of be jailed:

You should pay somebody to take the justice in your place (e.g. doorman ...)

Defend your child against bad teachers. it is a duty !!

Bathroom is a right , not a privilege.

Olympic Gold Medalist '04