nzermum's picture
nzermum

Wetting Pants at School

Hi there

I am needing some advice my 9 yr old daughter wet her pants at school a month or so ago, she hasnt had an accident since she was 5 years old and she doesnt wet the bed. The teacher rang me and asked me to come down to the school, she explained that my daughter had asked to do to the bathroom and she had said yes straight away when she didnt return after 5mins she sent another girl to go check on her and of course the girl came running back in yelling shes wet her pants, much to my daughters embarrasement. I asked my daughter what happened and she just said she couldnt hold on. I thought she is a bit old for this and should be able to control it but let it go. Since this issue she has started wetting her bed and had wet her pants 1 other time when at ballet. (this time she wasnt allowed to go to the toilet straight away but only had to wait 5 mins). I have had her to the doc twice and eliminated urinary tract infect and we have had no big events or up heavals, does any one else have a child who has had an accident at school... how did you deal with it??? Thanks



tristansmom's picture
tristansmom

Nzermum...I hope your daughter is doing better. It has been two months since my 14-year-old daughter Tristan came down with the flu. It was real bad, it kept her down for about a week. After wetting her bed four times the first day, I ran out and got her some Pull-ups. She has occasionally wet her pants/bed since childhood, but never enough to be worried about. We went through a couple packs of pull-ups during her illness. Often she'd wet while sleeping, but sometimes she'd tell me she had an accident while awake. I didn't worry about it, poor kid was sick.

Anyway, she's been okay health-wise for seven weeks now....but she continues to pee her pants. She did it at home today talking on the phone to a friend (she said she forgot to go) and then at the grocery store this afternoon (I turned around and saw her frantically doing the "potty dance" - before I could direct her to the potty, she wet her pants - she again said she forgot to go). And yesterday she peed her pants at the playground as she was babysitting a 9 year old and 5 year old for our neighbors - she said she was having fun playing and didn't know she had to go.

Sometimes she's okay for a couple days, but sometimes it's like the last four days - 7 daytime accidents and 3 wet beds. She's peed her pants a couple times in school, but mostly it's away from there. She has been upset when it happens, but lately she is more resigned to it, simply letting me know she's wet and not seeming as upset.

She's in pull-ups at night - she hasn't been able to stay dry routinely since she had the flu. And I'm about ready to step her back into pullups during the day. But I feel so bad for her! Any suggestions?

acitez's picture
acitez

It sounds like your doctor is addressing the physical problems. Why don't you ask the Dr what your expectations should be, and take your mom's advice and go see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

My oldest son just turned 6. He has some developmental issues. He is potty trained but still wears a diaper at night. Often he wakes up wet. The pediatrician said this is a fairly common problem in children and said it's developmental. It may or may not be related to my son's other issues, we're not sure. We contacted a pediatric urologist who said she doesn't see kids for bed wetting until 8 yrs old. During the day, my son is pretty good. However, he has had a few accidents (pee and seldom poop). I find that if he's distracted, he doesn't want to go to the bathroom. We have to take him there and often make sure he goes. We do this about every 2-2 1/2 hrs. We also informed our son's teacher that she needs to make him use the toilet, not just ask if he has to go. I told her he may need to be brought to the bathroom even if he refuses to go. So far that's been working for us. I'm a bit concerned this yr b/c my son's entering public school. Before this he was in a spec ed school where the teachers were very attentive to his every need. We hope they will be just as attentive in his new school. Over the summer, I can say my son has had maybe 3-4 accidents during the day. Once he was at a friend's house. I felt so bad b/c he didn't even realize it at first or even get embarrassed, but the other kids noticed and said eewww, gross. So, I understand how you feel. Some kids just have an underdeveloped bladder, and it takes time for them to mature. Stay on top of the situation, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Also, if you find you're not getting the support from your son's school, speak up. For health reasons, it is their responsibility to address the situation right away. You also don't want your son to feel badly about this. It's not his fault. If you can get your son over the embarrassment of having to use the toilet by telling him everyone does it, that wld be your first step. You might want to also cut back slightly on fluids (especially before bedtime, and see if that helps. I hope things get better for him soon. Good luck!

sconochini's picture
sconochini

Who is the teacher to deny my son the right to go use the bathroom?
boss can not deny employers to use bathroom
prison officers can not deny inmates to use bathroom
principal can not deny teachers to use bathroom
therefore teachers should not
deny students to use bathroom.

so i told him if you need to go for a wee ask your teacher, and if she tells you no JUST WALK OUT THE CLASS AND GO TO THE TOILET and tell them DADDY said you can go to the loo when you need to.

i know some people will say , your child should wait until recess

what happen if is an emergency e.g. stomach ache or urges to pee?? , bodily function DON`T KNOW ABOUT time specially in a emergencies cases like diarrhea

You teacher , you can not deny my child the right to use the toilet if he has an emergency , what would happen if a student have an accident and wet pants or have a stomach ache in front of a whole class because the teacher denied a student to use bathroom ??
it would be anecdotal for the teacher but for the pupil will be a traumatic and humbling experience for the rest of his/her life and many
many classmates will talk about that during years and the pupil will be humiliated again (and sometimes in front of new people).

why some teachers deny pupils the use of bathroom? students ask for the toilet to avoid some lesson

they would take drugs in bathroom , they can suffered a heart attack along the way......

TEACHER'S EXCUSES

i think some teachers dont let students use the bathroom because want see them with his/her pants-wetted , some teacher have behaviour pedophile

so I recommend to all parents , tell you child that you should wait until recess if you can hold , ok i'm agree , but if you child has an emergency , JUST WALK AND GO ,
teacher is not nobody to deny your child to use the bathroom , message to all parents DON'T LET YOUR CHILD BE HUMILIATED BY A B------ TEACHER. OK?!!
OK.

i see here many teachers are proud of about that. You are lucky my kid isn't in your class , you would have a big problem with me;
but anyway some day you could have a problem with a violent father .

Important: if you are physically strong and athletic person:

If a teacher hit your kid because he left the class because he used the bathroom (forget court because they will do nothing and you'll spend too much money paying
lawyer etc ) you should take the justice by your own hand without fear. Be carefull because you can be tracked (cammeras in school etc ) you can spend some months in Jail and you will get criminal record and that's very bad to find a job , so you should wear some balaclava or wig/glassess and don't talk/ shout to avoid him/her to recognize your voice.
if you know a place without too much people where you can meet with the teacher would be better , but if you know about martial arts you shouldn't be care about people.

advice: attacking from behind

Believe me , if you are strong and athletic (better if you have some knowledge about martial arts) and don't open your mouth and you have your face hidden , you won't be tracked by the police and you shouldn't be afraid.

if you are not physically strong and athletic person and/or you fear of be jailed:

You should pay somebody to take the justice in your place (e.g. doorman ...)

Defend your child against bad teachers. it is a duty !!

Bathroom is a right , not a privilege.

--
Olympic Gold Medalist '04

sconochini's picture
sconochini

hi , i open this topic because i have read some problems about it

Who is the teacher to deny my son the right to go use the bathroom?
boss can not deny employers to use bathroom
prison officers can not deny inmates to use bathroom
principal can not deny teachers to use bathroom
therefore teachers should not
deny students to use bathroom.

so i told him if you need to go for a wee ask your teacher, and if she tells you no JUST WALK OUT THE CLASS AND GO TO THE TOILET and tell them DADDY said you can go to the loo when you need to.

i know some people will say , your child should wait until recess

what happen if is an emergency e.g. stomach ache or urges to pee?? , bodily function DON`T KNOW ABOUT time specially in a emergencies cases like diarrhea

You teacher , you can not deny my child the right to use the toilet if he has an emergency , what would happen if a student have an accident and wet pants or have a stomach ache in front of a whole class because the teacher denied a student to use bathroom ??
it would be anecdotal for the teacher but for the pupil will be a traumatic and humbling experience for the rest of his/her life and many
many classmates will talk about that during years and the pupil will be humiliated again (and sometimes in front of new people).

why some teachers deny pupils the use of bathroom? students ask for the toilet to avoid some lesson

they would take drugs in bathroom , they can suffered a heart attack along the way......

TEACHER'S EXCUSES

i think some teachers dont let students use the bathroom because want see them with his/her pants-wetted ...

so I recommend to all parents , tell you child that you should wait until recess if you can hold , ok i'm agree , but if you child has an emergency , JUST WALK AND GO ,
teacher is not nobody to deny your child to use the bathroom , message to all parents DON'T LET YOUR CHILD BE HUMILIATED BY A TEACHER. OK?!!
OK.

i see here many teachers are proud of about that. You are lucky my kid isn't in your class , you would have a big problem with me;
but anyway some day you could have a problem with a violent father .

Defend your child against bad teachers. it is a duty !!

Bathroom is a right , not a privilege.

to avoid your child have an accident in class?? easy to solve:

tell your child if you need to go for a wee ask your teacher, and if he/she tells you no JUST WALK OUT THE CLASS AND GO TO THE TOILET and tell them DADDY said you can go to the loo when you need to.

BYE BYE , discipline? nothing to do with discipline

Whoops_there_he_is's picture
Whoops_there_he_is

The little lady, age 7, that lives with us, started having accidents at school also, and when checked at her pediatricians office, she had a bladder infection. Once treated for the infection, she has had no more accidents.
The down side to UTI medication is that it caused a yeast infection. So she was then put on medication to clear that up.
She has had no problem since.

tristansmom's picture
tristansmom

It has been almost 16 months since I posted about my then 14 year old daughter Tristan. She is turning 16 next week and is still wetting her bed quite regularly. Ever since this darn flu! Thank goodness for these Depend diapers that tape like the baby ones; Goodnites Pullups are not thick enough and don't absorb enough at night, not sure what we'd do without the diapers. Our rule is that she has to put her diaper on when she changes into her PJs, since she had forgotten a few times before bed. You can tell she is wearing them under her PJs, and since she usually changes into her PJs as soon as she is done with dinner, she has to be around her little sisters (11, 8, 5) regularly when she is obviously diapered. But she doesn't let it bother her. Her and the five-year old are the only two diapered at night, so they now share a room (the other two didn't want their rooms smelling like diapers, so they share a a room now).

She is wet about 5 times a week and is very good about telling us when she was wet. She has become quite the confident young woman despite this early childhood problem, I'm very proud of her. She usually changes her own diaper, but if I happen to be in there to change Shayla, I change her if she needs it.

She continues to have 2-3 accidents on average during the day each week as well. Some weeks she can go without an accident, and some weeks she's wet every day. She'll get her drivers license on her birthday next week, and I still have to worry about her peeing her pants at school (which has happened 7 or 8 times this school year so far). We do take precautions when I think it will be an issue (car trips, shopping, etc). We went to get our hair colored last weekend and we were going to go shopping afterward. As we were walking out of the salon, she whispered to me that she needed to change her pull-up. She wet her second pull-up as we drove home, just couldn't hold it long enough. We have a rule that in our house that if a kid has two pee accidents in a day, she has to spend the rest of the day and the next day in a diaper. It had been 6 months since I had to use the rule (actually, this was the 11 year old, both on short car trips, she was devastated). So anyway, Tristan changed herself into a diaper at my request. We all went out as a family to a movie that night, and about 20 minutes into the movie, Tristan started to cry and told me she not only peed her diaper but pooped her diaper. I had to take my daughter, 2 weeks from a drivers license to the bathroom to change her poopy diaper. And to boot, my 11 and 8 year olds peed their pants (they still have an accident a week or so themselves)! My 5 year old stayed dry until we were in the car and then peed and pooped her pullup (she was in a pullup as a precaution). I am about ready to put all 4 girls in diapers and just be done with potty training!

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Urinary tract infections are rare in boys, but I would still take him to the doctor before thinking it's psychological

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Take your son to a Pediatric Urologist if you can. Some specialists won't address this issue until the child is at least 8 yrs old, but it's worth a call. Otherwise discuss your options w/ your son's regular dr. My son had this problem for some time. He's now 6. Sometimes when kids are distracted, they tend to disregard going to the bathrm until the last minute. Then they have accidents. Other kids are just developmentally behind and have weeker bladders. W/ age, their bladders get stronger, and children have more control. Finally, at age 6, I believe we have our son's bedwetting under control. This may sound crazy, but I read online once to give your child one teaspoon of Orange Blossom Honey twice a day. Supposedly there's something in the honey that helps w/ bedwetting. You can also try cranberry juice. This juice specifically helps to strengthen the kidneys. Believe me, I was skeptical at first, but I was willing to try anything. The honey is what works best for my son.
As for school, we made sure we told our son's teacher that he needs bathroom reminders throughout the day. The teacher wld pull our son aside discretely and TELL him it's time to use the bathrm. After several months of this, he now goes on his own. So far this yr, our son has had no accidents. We've had to toughen up w/ him, but all in all, it's paying off. Hope this helps.

Kristie M.'s picture
Kristie M.

I have a 12 year old daughter that came home from school today and said that for about a week she has been suddenly having problems not being able to hold her pee for any amount of time. She has not peed on herself but she did say that just as soon as she gets the feeling that even when she goes right then she still dribbles a little before she can get to the bathroom. She also said that when she does pee that it is an excessive amount almost everytime. I was thinking maybe a UTI or something but after reading what you wrote its made me think. My mother passed away due to juvenile diabetes about 4 years ago and it is hereditary. I am going to make her an appointment tomorrow and try to figure this out. Thanx for the info. I hope this is not it but I need to rule it out.