I am a first grade teacher and met with my principal today about the students I think should repeat the grade. I have a lot to say about this. Many of the students recommended for hold-over by the first grade team should have been held back in kindergarten. They came to first grade without the needed skills and were unable to meet grade level expectations. The same thing will happen to a first grader who passes to second grade without the proper academic foundation.

You said that part of you thinks he should repeat but the other part says it will hurt him too much. If you have a positive attitude about it, so will he. I'm sure he notices your disappointment, fear, and confusion about his possible hold-over and he is going to think that it is how he "should" be thinking about the situation. I think you know that the teacher is right. There is nothing wrong with your son, or with you. He might just be a little immature and need another year to solidify his learning of the skills he will desperately need as he continues his academic career.

Additionally, my personal experience as a student forces me to strongly urge you to hold your son back for one year. Despite strong suggestions to my mother to keep me in kindergarten another year, my mother pushed and pushed until the school agreed to pass me into first grade. Looking back (I'm 36 now) it was a TERRIBLE decision. Everything was always a challenge. I now recognize that I am actually pretty smart but I never felt that way in school. I never felt like I fit in, I was never the first one to understand a concept, I never got the highest grade in the class. And the worst part was that I realized that I struggled more than others. IT killed my self esteem and I gave up on myself as a student. Don't do it to your son. He's not going to really remember being held over unless your reaction to it is so negative that he can't help but pick up on it. He doesn't know how to feel about it. He is looking at the role models in his life to show him how he should feel about being held over.

Still, give him the opportunity to be at the top of the class. He will be one of, if not the, top student in his class next year. Allow him to get the feeling of achieving academic excellence. What a wonderful experience it will be for him to "get" everything. Think about how positive he will feel about school and the whole experience once he has the opportunity of being repeatedly successful in that class. Go with your son's teacher's recommendation. Trust the professional opinion of the people with whom you allow your son to spend his entire day. It will benefit him.

I thinking I needed to vent! Thanks for the opportunity. Good luck to you!

Hi! Jeanne,
I am 58 years old. I graduated from High school when I was twenty years old. I was held back in first grade and third grade. I always felt lie I was stoopid or had a mental problem that kept me from doing well in school. In fact I had encephalitis when I was six years old from a polio shot and almost died from it.. It took me over a year to gain the ability to walk and speak decently enough to start school. I needed special speech classes though high school and I should of been given other help which I wasn't given. I had to wear diapers 24 hours a day and because of the lost of memory and physical problems that I had from the encephalitis, I had to start life all over again from sctrach at the age of seven. So, I finally went to first grade at the age of seven and half. I did very poorly that year, I was sick most of the time and the kids made fun of my diapers which the teacher incouraged.

With all this said, I had trouble all through school. Finaly in high school I had teachers who cared enough to help me get better grades.

Once in college I got much better grades and felt better towards myself.

I would like you to get your son evalurated and tested to see what your sons abilities are. Then you can know better what to do. I found while I was in school that teachers usually do not want to be bothered with slower learning students and will mark them off as having some problem. Your son may just need some summer schooling or maybe even something lke Sullivan learning school. Try this before you hold your child back.

Listen your getting stuck on his emotions. What will he feel if he gets held back? He needs to learn some coping skills. It is better to hold him back in first grade and let his basic skills be strong then to move him on. And have him repeat 4th or 5th grade. I assure you no teacher wants to tell a part that their child should get held back. So I sure she is valid. Parents cant see everything that is going on. You cant grow out of a reading problem. If he was barely were he needs to be more summer break. He will definitely lose a month or two of information over the summer.

Hold him back know and yeah he will be upset.
But this isnt about feelings this is about his future and the basis for sound reading career.

Societal issue children running parents. He has not choice put to forgive her. Do not except the attitude and punish accordingly. She should not let her guilty feeling but her son in a position to control his own life. Mom is the boss and he better fall line. Yeah he may act up but not being able to read and do the classroom activities with your " friends" is more embarassing.

I read many reply from here, First time I read this maybe in october 2007, and my daughter was in first grade, and in first meeting with her teacher, I come in my house and crying, because my daughter have too much problems with English, and one moment I ask her teacher, what`s happen if my daughter can`t go like other kids? and she tell me can`t go in second grade, You can`t imagine what`s happen with me. In school have program for foreign students,and my daughters make special lessons three day in week, one hour, .
I was very good student in school, and I start to think, and to remember what to do, first, I search from internet everything for first grade, and I buy some lessons, and foundet to many for free, I learn first for my self, because my English is not very good, and after 4.00 when my daughter come home, I say, this lesson send your teacher for you to make practice in home, she like, thanks GOD, AND after one month I take and one teacher in home, only for two week, one hour for day, and after, I see my daughter have progress, but some time she is tired, and I stop this teacher come in my home, and I work by self with my daughters, in first report from school, my daughter had only 6 , 2, in second report had 4 , 2 , and finaly record, my daughter finish first grade with 2 2 and full 1, This is ok, I tell you, only work by your self with your boy, and you see results. I week-up my daughter every morningin 6.45, and every morning, make practise, like every night, and every day stay and make practise one hour, + 15 minuts read every night, + stay in computer for 30 minuts, reading and play some games with + or reading, or magnet games, this help me, Now my daughters can read very good, and understanding, because I not speak english in home, but, now she help me with English.