Pregnancy
Discussion Title: Repeat first grade???
Created by: mom2julesj...
Created on: Wed, 05/09/2007 - 3:22pm.
Created by: mom2julesj...
Created on: Wed, 05/09/2007 - 3:22pm.
Hi,
Hopefully, someone can give me some feedback.
My son, Jacob, is in the first grade. He will be 7 on August 15, so he's one of the youngest in his class. He has been struggling all year with reading, which often affects other subjects. He goes for special reading help with the learning specialist and has made some very slow progress. He is reading at like a "primer" level and to me, is starting to progress forward to the next level very soon.
His teacher really feels that he should be held back in first grade. She says he has some maturity issues that really show. She constantly has to keep him on track and keep him working at the tasks. I asked her if she felt it was an attention problem. She feels it is not because he does not have that "spacey" look when not being attentive. She does not think he's exhibiting symptoms of like ADD. She thinks it's a maturity problem and that he might be just shutting off the lesson because he feels overwhelmed by it. I ask him about school and he says it's easy....his work is often rushed. When he doesn't feel like it..he just writes "mumble-jumble".
I don't know what to do. Part of me feels he needs to stay back another year....part of me says that would hurt him too much.
Any ideas?
Jeanne
mom-Jacob 6 and Julia 9
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Replied: 3/11/2008 4:53pm.
Retention is an extremely tough decision for any parent. As a third grade teacher I agree with the people who say, yes, do it now. I have a student in my class who is younger than the rest with a summer birthday. Although he is extremely smart and has no trouble keeping up, it is obvious that he is younger than the others. If your child struggles to keep up, I believe it's best to hold him back. As others stated, it will boost his confidence in the long run and keep you from extra work at home to try to constantly keep him with his classmates. One thing I want to add though, is that you should take a day (or more?) and go to your son's class and just observe. This will give you a more thorough idea of what your son needs to work on, no matter which choice you make. My kindergarten son has focusing issues in class and now that I've started volunteering in his classroom once a week I can see how his behaviors differ from those of his classmates. It makes judgements (in my case, medication or not) easier to make when you see for yourself what's happening rather than basing decisions on what each person says and what you see at home, which is often totally different than what's expected at school.
A co-worker and friend of mine has a summer birthday and was held back in kindergarten. She in grateful to her parents for making that decision early on and was able to do well in school throughout.
Good luck.
Replied: 4/8/2008 12:40pm.
I'm dealing with the same problem you are my child was born the end of Aug. and I'm thinking about holding her back the teacher said the same things to me. I had her tested for everything eyes, ears, add, adhd and anything else you can think of. I even took her to a natural path. She is hyper and has some problems sitting but in noway shape or form does she have add or adhd. We changed her diet and many other things and it has helped alot. I have come to the conclusion that she just wasn't ready to start grade one.
Replied: 4/14/2008 1:42pm.
I just want to let you know, everyday I wish I had kept my son back when it was recommended. He will be 17 on August 14th and still has a hard time around his peers. I think being the oldest in the class would be easier. He had some academic issues, but mostly he just wasnt ready. Good Luck!
Replied: 5/1/2008 3:54pm.
Your situation sounds exactly like mine; in fact, my husband and I struggled with the decision of whether or not to hold our son back in 1st grade,we have been trying everything; flash cards, reading constantly, sight word bingo, and although he is progressing, it is just not enough and we were even going to get a tutor this summer. We recently decided that it was best for him to repeat 1st grade rather than struggle again next year and then have to make the decision, which would be harder on him later, not to mention the underdo stress to be put on our son and the household, life has enough struggles, and sometimes we as adults wish we could repeat things, so if they have the opportunity to do it again and get it right, then why not, in a year it won't even be an issue and he will probably obtain more confidence. Hey also, look at the bright side, one more year to save for college, haahhh.
By the way, my son is turning seven this month.
Good luck. I know it is a hard decision, go with your gut and your instint, it usually knows the answer you just have to listen. Als0, a little more advice although we can guide our children and give them positive influence, their successes and failures our not our own.
:)
Replied: 5/9/2008 5:14pm.
I taught first grade for 42 years and have since written a book for parents about struggles many kids face and how to deal with them. I say this about retention:
If the child has average or above ability and retention is supported by both parents, that is the way to go. (It sounds like this might be the case with Jacob.) Retention will NOT help the child who is mentally challenged, and it will not be of benefit if either or both parents are adamantly opposed.
I do not recommend that you ask Jacob what HE wants to do. That decision is far too important to thrust it into the hands of a young child.
Replied: 5/26/2008 10:17pm.
Rilda,
My niece is most likely staying back in first grade and I was completely on board with this and wanted to research the matter to send my sister some reassuring emails but during the research process I discovered that the educational research says that only 1/4 of the kids have a positive response to repeating a grade. I haven't seen any comments on this forum that confirm this research and I was just wondering if you have reviewed any of this research and can give me any insight into why it doesn't support your experience or others in this forum. The research from many educational studies basically says that kids do the same or worse after repeating a grade and they are more likely to become dropout because of it. It all sounds so scary and I don't want my niece to be affected in a negative way by this decision. Any insight you have on this would be greatly appreciated.
AutieHiYi
Replied: 5/26/2008 10:27pm.
Dear RWilder,
I niece is most likely going to be held back in first grade but I have some concerns about the educational research out there that says that holding kids back has been shown to not improve their skills and in some cases has lowered their skills. As an educator have you read any of these studies and it so what are your thoughts on them? They all seem to say that holding your kids back increases their chances of dropping out of school and performing worst because they think that they are not smart because they were held back. Advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Auntie HiYi
Replied: 5/26/2008 10:40pm.
Dear Baadia,
I completely agree with your comments but I have some worries. I have been doing some research and through my research I have found that all the educational studies on retention say it's not beneficial. They ever go on to say that 3/4 of the child do the same, worst and account for the largest number of dropouts in the US. I cannot tell you how scary this sounds. Most likely my niece will be held back in 1st grade because of her reading level and her maturity level. The teacher said she could go one but that she recommended that she stay back. My sister has been having a hard time making this decision and I supported this decision wholeheartedly but after doing some research on the studies I am apprehensive about my sister holding my niece back.
Any insight, advice, words of wisdom, etc. you can provide would be much appreciated.
Thank you.
Auntie HiYi
Replied: 5/27/2008 10:23pm.
Hello everyone,
My son Jake is 7,he'll be 8 july 31 and he is to be held back to repeat 2nd grade again in the fall due to maturity issues. His teacher feels another year to grow mentally and mature socially will give him a great advantage academically. He made C's and D's most of the year, his teacher said he rushes through everything and just picks any answer or writes anything down just to get the work done but when he applies himself and doesn't become distracted he does very well. At home he finishes his homework without any problem and does it perfectly and when I work with him on spelling he aces every test. Jake has ADHD so I'm not so confident that holding him back will change anything. It could go either way...either he'll do great and boost his confidence in his school work and have more in common with the kids his age or he'll get made fun of and feel embarrassed and stupid the entire year and do horrible. I just don't know.....
Replied: 5/31/2008 7:29am.
Hi ladies,
I have twin boys in 1st grade. Their birthday is Sept 20. So when they started kindergarten they were 5. Well they did okay in K but 1st grade is totally different. We have finally decided to hold them back. They struggle in math and reading and they say if they are struggling in more than one subject now.. that 1st grade would be the best grade to hold them, and we agree. I think kids are less critical now if we would wait and push them on holding them in 2nd grade would be worse. We got a letter from the principal stating the boys might get held and there was a line in her letter that I REALLY LIKED... "some children need the gift of time", I thought that was so appropriate because it makes sense. I spoke with the pincipal yesterday and she granted the request that the boys be held... we are very happy ... we think this 1 year will help them for the rest of their school years! I hope this helps.
Shari