I know just what you are feeling and you are not alone. My Daughter Kayty who is know in 2nd grade is exactly how you described your son. Last year I was going back and forth tring to decide if I should hold her back and I did not. I really played around with several ideas. Kayty's Birthday is August 10 again the youngest in her class. I was going to homeschool her, but I was afraid she would get lost in the shuffle of at home life so I ruled that out. I really did not like her Teacher, I felt there was not much help from her, She did get help with reading. Not  know at the begining of May what I was going to do I asked for any sheets that they could give me so I can work the summer with her, I also googled 1st grade reading and that came up with many many websites. I did not keep her back, I went to her 2nd grade teacher (who was just out of college) and told her that my daughter had a hard time in 1st grade and I thought about home schooling her but I dont want to pull her out of her friends... but I want progress reports saying how things are going as often as needed, and the first sign of trouble I will pull her out and homeschool. Kayty has still had a hard year, sometimes can get very frusterated and asks to be homeschooled But I do beleive she has come a long way. She still needs help reading but she keeps reading Dick and Jane books and The Bopsy Twins and Are you my Mother by Dr. Suess. She feels proud of her self when she gets to Pg 94 in the Dick and Jane book. I think You should follow your heart, do what works for Jacob. And work hard with him and it could all work out. I hope letting you know my ordeal really helps you out. Good luck.

I have a son with a July 2nd birthday.  I decided early on I wanted him to be 6 before he started Kindergarten, but was forced because of circumstances to place him in K when he was 5 with the idea he would take Kindergarten twice.  It is now February and he has had some maturity level issues (writing on his/classmates shirts, going to nurse having pretend bathroom accidents), but academically he is doing fine.  He recognizes words and can read step one and parts of step 2 books, and his teacher continues to give him good marks.

We have a meeting with his teacher next week (she’ll be meeting with all her students parents).  She said the topic will be “is your child ready for the first grade?”.  Like I said, I want him to repeat Kindergarten, but I’m afraid the teacher is going to say he can move on because he’s doing fine academically.  Am I being selfish?  Wanting to give my son another year of maturity?  I’ve read plenty of the pros of him repeating…what would be some of the cons for him to take Kindergarten again?

this is a reply to someone who posted on this thread it is not directed to the person who started the thread only to say I've been there I've done that and you need to trust yourself

Dear School Volunteer,(didnt make note of your name)

Ive taken some of the things you said and marked them in quotes.

Having no idea if you are educated in your job in anyway you are displaying in your response to this mom the very best of the "US against The Parents," syndrome a lot of schools and school employees fall into. Parents have valuable and unique insight into the needs of their own children. They should be looked at like members of the education team NOT totally dismissed like you have just done.

"I'm a school volunteer--every day, in a first-grade class.  If a teacher recommends retaining a child, do it." 

"Immature children come from loving homes where the mother does everything for the child.  Need I say more?  "

I was told my son was immature and that was the reason he was behind and not learning in grade one. My son had responsibilities, he had chores and he had obligations. He ALSO had dyslexia, and significant difficulty with long term and short term memory. Even though I was being told the solution was to hold him back, they had not even read his evaluations made in kindergarten.  Unfortunatly my sons father belives like you, the school ALWAYS knows the answer and I allowed my self to feel bullied into letting him be held back, at the end of grade one the SECOND TIME he was still at the same spot beginner grade one. So that was a WASTED year.

"Most parents don't want to see tears in the eyes of their children when they finally come to the realization that maybe they need to make their child  sit down EVERY DAY and practice until perfect, so they don't make them practice reading EVERY DAY.  All it takes is 15 minutes of quality time practice a day."

MY son and I read EVERY SINGLE DAY since the time he was 18 months old, Practice until perfect? for a child with my sons short term and long term memory problems that would have taken LONGER then 15 minutes it would have been HOURS and at the end of it it would have left the two of us tired and hating school, only to start over the very next day with nothing there that had been worked on the day before.

Lady on this you fall so far from the mark i dont even know what to say. Its back to that Us against them Judging parents. You dont even know what goes on in that family but you assume that the kid doesnt have to do anything. Its a SAD SAD attitude and it sounds more then a little hostile to parents.

"I suspect that this child cannot CORRECTLY form his letters, and all it takes is a $3 School-Zone work book with lowercase alaphabet letters, from Wal-Mart, and a little daily practice."

No im sorry that isnt ALL it takes. Perhaps what it really does take is some compassion and understanding, oh and how about respect. I have the $3 School zone books ... LOTS of them

Take a look at your reply to this mother. I hope you are embarassed with the way it appears. Try being supportive of parents. You will probably find that they like you a lot better at school if they dont feel you judging them as they walk in the door.

By the way,

I teach every day, I don't volunteer.

Hi Jeanne,

I am going through the same thing that your going through my son just turned 7 and hes in the first grade his teacher wonts him to be held back next school year ,but i still have mixed emotions on it because the teacher is saying that his reading and comphresions are behind but, he does fine when he is at home and at friends houses I did have his eyes tested and he did need glasses but his teacher condredicts (spell) herself though just in Jan she was telling me that he was doing well and keeping up with the class and then less than a month she is telling me that he is having trouble in class I have to meet with the teacher in april to determind whether he should be retained or not  but were are working very hard and he is doing good but i pretty convienced that his teacher is still going to wont to retain him despite all of the hard work he has done. As the parent you get the final descion you know your son better than any one, one thing that helps me is getting diffrent advices and doing research on the matter.

Hi Jeanne,

I actually went/am going through the same thing. I know how hard it is to make this decision, from personal experience. My son, David, now 8, they wanted to hold back in kinder. But unlike my daughter, Monica, now 15, whom has a learning disorder, I could recognize the difference between the two. David, memorizes and picks up on alot quickly. He too is at the young end for his grade as his birthday is in Oct. I went through a big battle pushing him on and continue to have obsticales and hills to climb. But though I doubt myself at times for my decision of moving him on I know that I made the decision that I felt was right for my son. I have a lot of people that I have dealt with in my circle of life with the many different types of challenges my kids have come across, and the main thing that I learned is that you need to focus on what you know is best for your child. I know that if David was held back he would've been bored to death. He learns something and wants to move so he might not have the eye contact. His reading in slow and his writing in at times mumble jumble too. I know it can be frustrating. I took David for an outside consultation, meaning outside the school district. They came back with details on what learning techinque is better for him and that he does have ADHD. You will be suprised on how much they feed off each other. If they have trouble reading thats where they then loose there interst and guess what out the door the focus goes. I really suggest for your peice of mind and your childs interest, get an outside assessment done with a pshycologist that specializes with kids that have learning disorders. You can ask your pediatrician to refer you to one. Beleive me it helps to know what your dealing with and how to work with it. I did the same for my daughter because in her school, the school, kept wanting to mainstream her, no longer give her services. Which I knew she was not ready for that. Well again they gave me specifics in how to help her and also said she has ADHD. Both have a different type of ADHD though. Both have issues reading but different learning methods were give for each of them. David has the combination type ADHD, so he is calm, but can be active at times. Not even so much active but hard to stay focused. Monica, you would say "yeah right, she has ADHD", she is calm as a sleeping, purring cat, but come take a look at her room, it looks like a tornado went through there. Give her more than a task at a time, try three be lucky she does one.

Sorry I gave you soooo much info on my family, but I know it helps when you hear your not alone and someone else out there is going or has gone through the same or simalar to what you are. Deep in your heart, you know in your gut what is right for your child. Not to keep going on, but I remember telling the principal of my daughter elementary school that. I knew holding her back was not the best for her, she was tiny so she could've, but we had just moved, she wears glasses and like I said is tiny. Now I was suppose to hold her back, separate her from her freinds. She already got teased, glasses, short, etc., not to add one more thing on her plate. You know when she went to middle school and made honor roll, I went back and told the principal, I am so glad I didnt listen to you, see where my daughter is now and how well she is doing. It is hard, but with hardwork and support of there parents, they will get. My daughter is in high school now, she still has resource, but does not attend, she attends a class that if she needs help she could get it and if not she could work on other work. She made the honor roll again, takes a forgein language, which the school had stated that she is the first resource student they have allowed to take a forgein language. So keep your chin up, do what you know is best for YOUR child, and get an outside assesment!!!