My daughter just turned 6 years old on June 22, 2007.  Last year she was in kindergarten and was having a very difficult time.  The teacher told me at the end of the school year that she highly recommended for her to stay back.  I was in agreement with her, however with the pressure of my mother I reluctantly decided to move her forward.   During the summer months we had a tutor helping her try and get caught up.  She is now in a new school in 1st grade.  The teacher spoke with me the other day and stating that my daughter is extemely behind and very  imature.  Her current teacher also agrees that she should go back to kindergarten.  I then decided to have her put back since it still is so early in the school year.  I wrote an letter to the Principal requesting that she be put back into kindergarten and advised her of both her teachers statements.  I cannot believe that the Principal is not in agreement with us.  My daughters teacher did warn me that their Principal is totally against keeping kids back in school.  I myself was big for my age but they kept me back in kindergarten.  I am so glad that I was held back.  I don't want my daughter to have to suffer from year to year trying to keep up in school.  SHOULD IT REALLY BE UP TO THE PRINCIPALS OF THE SCHOOL ON WHETHER OR NOT YOUR CHILD STAYS BACK OR NOT?  Shouldn't that be up to the teachers that spend many hours with our children 5 days a week on whether they should be held back.  If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do I would love to hear it.  I have my mind set on keeping her back. 

I had my boy repeat Kindergarten, then I pulled him out of school totally in 5th grade, had him attend the Orchestra class in 6th grade, added math in 7th grade, History in 8th grade, and in 9th grade he was back to school for the full day.  Now he is in 10th grade and doing just fine.  I don't know what state you are in, but most states have provisions for home-schooling your child.  If your child is in a public school, the school is probably funded based on how many students attend.  If your principal is aware that you are considering home-schooling your child and withdrawing him from the school, he may be a little more flexible about changing grades.  Actually, you are legally responsible already for seeing to it that your child is educated.  There is  a criminal offense called educational neglect (not kidding!) in my state.

Hello Jeanne:  I am interested in hearing how it turned out with your son.  My daughter does not appear to have attention problems.  She was just struggling so much in her class that she lost interest in learning.  My son on the other hand was diagnosed  with ADD.  He is 11 years old now and still struggles a bit with his attentions problems.  At least we found out what the problem was when he was very young.   It really helps to know what the problem is first.  Then you will be able to move on from there and get the right help that will be needed if necessary. 

Dkeyes

this is a very difficult decision that you are ultimately best suited to answer (what does your "gut" say?) but I will tell you my "hindsight".  My son had a stroke at 3 and we were told that with speech and occupational therapy he would be "fine!"  He is also young for his grade (July b'day) but he was so anxious and seemed so bright, we started him in K as soon as he was eligible.  Long story short - he spent most of the first thru 6th grade in Resource (sp ed) for ELA, was diagnosed ADD, inattentive at the age of 10 (only after we had him tested outside the school system to determine why he would fail the state-mandated tests after making A's/B's in class all year).  We can now see (that we couldn't back then) that he has matured slower than his peers and, though he probably would've still needed extra help, his self-esteem maybe wouldn't have suffered so much along the way.  He is now in high school (all regular classes) and is doing quite well in some subjects, but really struggling with the math/language classes. 

The question you have to answer is would you possibly regret it (more) if you hold him back now or if you send him on?  In retrospect, our journey would've been smoother had we held him back in 1st grade or K.

Good luck!

dsrm

That is such a hard decision to make.  As a first grade teacher for many years I find that parents are often struggling with that decision.  I like to explain it like this.  School is much like building a house. First you have the base, (kindergarten) then you start the foundation (first grade)  You don't want any cracks or missing blocks in the foundation because it will not be able to hold the house as it gets built.  When you are missing the foundational skills of first grade much of the knowledge learned later is difficut and often not able to be understood.  Even if your son is ready socially, the academic pressure of the higher grades can effect his social growth later on.  I have had many students who have been kept back a year, and they have had great success.  Considering hiring a tutor for the summer, or having your son attend summer schools are more great ways to keep the reading and learning going.  I hope this helps you in your decision.