my son feels he has no close friends
it has been 1 1/2 year since we moved into a new town. i don't know if it is me or what but it seems people on my block is distant, and not very friendly. am i supposed to knock on their doors to introduce myself? well, till this day, i still have no idea who my neighbors are...i hardly see them, and when i do, they are sort of far away that you will have to make an effort to walk over to start a conversation. i feel kind of weird about it but it isn't as heart breaking for me as my concern for my son, 9.
he is an outgoing, friendly boy and will always take the initiative to start up a conversation with other kids. he is generally upbeat, confident, and happy. however, he still feels kind of upset that he still has not made any close friends to hang out with. yesterday he told me that he still misses his old friends from before and that he wishes we had never moved. that really breaks my heart. to be honest, i never thought being a parent means that i can feel so helpless and miserable when it comes to issues with our children's social life. given his outgoing personality, i really cannot understand why he hasn't made any close friends. from what i heard from him, boys at school can be mean and hurtful for no particular reason. worse, it seems that you have to act that way to keep up with others. when he strikes a conversation with others, he often feels that other kids would ignore him a lot. are we all just being too sensitive when it comes to me versus the others? i told him that not all the kids are as outgoing as you are and that they may just be shy and don't know what to say instead of ignoring you. sometimes i tried to remember how it was when i was his age and it is such a blur that i don't think i have any close friends until i was in 11. but to him, he feels left out and i wonder if i have anything to do with it. i am not a PTA member and do not have the opportunity to get to know other parents. last year my son went to a playdate in a classmate's house. my husband picked him up and chatted with the other kid's mother for a little while. though, when my husband ran into her again couple months later in a sport practice, she acted like she does not know him at all. to me, it is just not normal social behavior. i am beginning to feel if i am not part of the parents social circle, my kids get left out too. am i being paranoid to think that way? my philosophy in friendship has always been that friendship develops naturally and that it is a 2 way street -- one should not have to make an effort to achieve. perhaps i was wrong???