Ramya Gopal's picture
Ramya Gopal

My daughter repeating 1st grade

Hello everyone,

I have a 7 yr old daughter who is in 1st grade. She is a special need child but she is advance level reading, writing and math but she is not good in following directions, finishing the task in given time, transition problems, working in a group setting. She is getting help in the school but now, her teacher is telling me that she should be held back in 1st grade to improve her social skill but then, i don't want to accept that as the she is doing great academically. Plus, she will be 8 yr old this year and i truly think her self-confidence will go down if she had to stay back in 1st grade with 6 yr and 7 yr old and she is also very excited to go to 2nd grade. I don't know what to do...i am in tears from two days. I myself cannot accept that my daughter is repeating 1st grade, how iam i suppose to convince my daughter. Any help or suggestion would be appreciated.


way2busymom's picture

The school should do some research! Repeating grades does not have longterm benefits for most kids. In fact, it has marked negatives including a higher drop-out rate in retained children. I'm not saying it's never appropriate but it only works when the specific problem has been identified and can be solved prior to the repeat. What are they really expecting to change in her over the year? Did they discover some substantial and correctable hearing loss? Is she going on new medications or something? What are they thinking?

If she's advanced, doing 1st grade over is going to be pure torture. That's just asking for behavioral issues. It's NOT going to help with her social skills to be a year older and bored out of her mind. The teacher's will have to accomodate her advanced levels which will pull her apart from her classmates even more. I seriously don't understand their reasoning at all!

Obviously, I don't know the whole story. Maybe there is some good and glaring reason to retain her than isn't in this post. However, I reccomend you start looking at your options. Maybe she needs a different schooling format. Do you have any charter schools in your area? Some offer less seat time, more individualized learning, ect. Have you considered homeschooling? There are some great programs out there to help... some involve part-time schooling. This may be what she needs until she matures a bit and can follow the traditional school routine.

Do your research. Get some outside, professional input. Don't go along with it unless they come up with a great, longterm plan for your child.

MotherGoose's picture

I'm experiencing the same issues with my 7 year old whose lowest grade is a c+ in physical education. So far my experience all together with the school system here has been a nightmare. They wont listen to the parents and its all some power struggle with your children. By no means will my child be held back in first grade...not with all A's & B's =)
Considering all basic ciriculum will be drilled into the childs head every single year even in college, I'm assuming he wont ever be allowed to be held back unless he falls short on his high school credits.

Ah schools...like a battle ground really less you just bend over and let them wreck your child :-(