bilqish's picture
bilqish

my 4 year old refuses to go to nursrey

is he still small should i wait till next year hes turning 4 in september



SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

No he’s not too small for daycare. What are you going to do when he is in school and refuses to go? This is not a decision for him to make. You are the parent, you are the one that sets the rules. Take him to daycare, he will be just fine.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

This is a normal thing at your son's age. Expose your son to nursery school now. He may fuss, but he'll get used to it. Also, talk to his teacher to see if there's anything you can do to make the experience more comfortable for him. If he's having a problem in the classrm, address that now as well. I'm sure in time, things will get better. Hang in there.

acitez's picture
acitez

This is a decision that you as parent get to make. There is no reason, as far as raising a happy, capable child, to send him off to a regular nursery situation. In my state, even Kindergarten is optional, the state requires school attendance or a home-school exemption at age 6+, not before.

For the intellectual and social stimulation of a pre-school, read, read, read, play in the dirt, play with clay/playdough, play in the yard, do laundry and housework together, cook together, sing, sing, sing, go to the store, the park, the museum, the library, the neighbors', grandparents' house, go on errands, color.
I read a thing from Yale that said 5 half-days a week for some Kindergartners is to much. The authors suggested having a note from the pediatrician at the beginning of the Kindergarten year, saying that the child would be attending 4 days a week. I thought that was taking things too far, but, well, I guess everybody is different!

junieg's picture
junieg

Sending your child to nursery [if it is a good nursery] will be the best decision you have ever made. I know I may be biased as I am an Early Years Prtactitioner, but it will help him cope better when the time arrives for him to start attending school. What we do in our Centre is introduce the child very gradually to our environment. The child comes in with his parent/s and spends an hour or so exploring safely with this safe person alongside them. The child will keep on making visits, with the parent going off upstairs for a coffee when the child is comfortable with that. The visits get longer as does the parents absence until the child has settled and is happy to part with their parent. We do have some children who take longer to settle than others but they do eventually want to be here. If the nursery takes account of all your child's likes and dislikes they will be able to plan activities and experiences around that and make him feel welcome, and get his interest going. They may also try to help them start a friendship with one or more of the other children.
Don't push him in too fast though I urge you. I have seen that done in other nurseries and it is so detrimental to the child. He has to be comfortable with it. Be firm but be guided by the nursery staff.

bleclair's picture
bleclair

no he is not to young. my husband and i are constantly having to tell my two year old daughter look i'm the boss not you. she goes to nursery at church and is fixing to start going to a church based daycare and i'm concerned about her transition from a one on one daycare that my mom has provided but every child needs that interaction with other children... it helps them to grow and they also learn so much from each other... what i have had to do with my two year old when we first started leaving her at church is hand her off and walk away. yes she pitched a fit but those people there are used to this they know what to expect and he will eventually adapt to his new surroundings. just remember you are the parent and not him. you are doing what is best for him always.. its ok for him to cry he will be just fine. trust me i'm telling from experience... my little one did. now she walks into church like she owns the place. kids are funny that way.

Trisscity's picture
Trisscity

I think he'll be just fine. I am a Pre-K (4-5) teacher and I see lots of new children every year in my room and the preschool room (3's) beside me. I started sending my daughter when she was 2 1/2 a couple half days per week just for the social interaction that I felt she needed at the time. If you choose to send him make it easier on him by not lingering. Check the daycare out a couple times where you stay with him for an activity and he gets to see what's going on with you there. Some kids don't even need this. Many of our kids start without having seen our center beforehand and they are just fine. Then talk to him about the day you will take him and he will stay by himself. But when you drop him off, tell him you love him and go. There is a little boy in the 3 year old room beside me that has been at our center since he was about 18months old (so he's moved through 3 rooms and knows our staff well) and he screams at the top of his lungs every day she drops him off. The reason?? Because she doesn't always leave him and he knows that. If he cries like that she will sometimes just say he's too upset and take him to work with her. And if she does leave him she lingers. One more hug, one more kiss. I'm telling you....it makes it soooo much harder for that child when you do that. My daughter cried for about a month (not screaming....but a little crying) and I'd kiss her goodbye, tell her I loved her, and go. Then I'd call to make myself feel better to make sure she was truly okay. It's every families decision to make for themselves to send a child to daycare/nursery school but try to make that transition as easy as possible for the child.