Momof2girls's picture

My 10 year old Daughter has no friends:(

Hi I have a 10 year old daughter that just started 5th grade, although she is very smart and pretty also, she has trouble keeping friends. This years class has a clique which seems to bother her.. She is not being bullied but being ignored which breaks my heart:( In 3rd grade she made friends with a nice girl and they became the best of friends they would call each other have playdates..In our town they sometimes loop the classes so my daughter stayed with the same class for 3rd & 4th grade. For this year 5th grade they separated them no she is in a class with no one she connects with and her bestfriend is in a class with a bunch of other girls she knows so she doesn't pay attention to my daughter at all... It's almost as like they need to only play with the girls that are in their class and that's it.It's hard for the kids but even harder for the Mom's:(

2xstepmom's picture

While this may seem difficult for your daughter, the fact is, the reason for school is for children to get a good education. Your daughter is not there as a means to have a social life. Provide a social life for her outside of school if that is important to you. Life is full of cliques. This is encountered in every class, office, religious, social organization or even families. It is up to you to make this situation not so important to her. Encourage her to be the best student she can be. Enrole her in other activities such as Girl Scouts, music or dance classes or sports outside of school. There are many ways for you to help her to make and have friends. Don't take this so personally and she won't either.

aleakim's picture

hi i am ten years old and just started 5th grade i am just like your daughter i have no friends nobody picks me to play with them or to be a partner during class activitys:[ I would love to be friends with your daughter:]please write back as soon as you can. i would love to hear what you have to say:]

momof three's picture
momof three

Uggh-I feel for you-maybe by now it's gotten a little better. I was just having this conversation with my daughter and came across your post. My daughter is 9 in 4th grade and same situation. It breaks my heart-I think the more I talk about it the worse she feels-I think it might be more my issue than hers. I definitely feel I work through my own unresolved issues through my kids-especially(unfortunately)my daughter. I like the post below-very wise.

Honestly_Im_honest95's picture

Ah yes, I remember when that same thing happened to me, mine happened to last a little longer than your daughter though, 3rd-6th grade. Pretty much the worst years of my life. I hated school so much that I completely gave up on trying. All you can do is let her go to a different school, or be home schooled. Other than that you'll just have to wait. It will be over soon, hopefully. Theirs an end to everything, except eternity.

Calico9's picture


I have a 10 year old in 4th grade. A very similar situation. She is smart,pretty, and not really into sports. There are no girls in her class that she is friends with. They bully her and give her a hard time because of her clothes and that she doesn't have pierced ears. I've bought her cute Justice clothes, but they are still give her a hard time and I told her that maybe she can get her ears pierced for her 11th birthday. I think it is especially hard when girls are smart and pretty, there is a lot of insecurity and jealousy to go around. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks.

Calico9's picture

Hi, I have the same problem as you. I don't really have any friends because there is a big group and they bully me. I'm ten and I am in fourth grade and I really like American Girl Dolls. I like sleep overs and I love to read. Hope you write back.



Kelster's picture

I'm sorry your child is having difficulty. Kids, especially girls can be horrible. Make sure you put the teacher and the principal on notice. A little group therapy can do wonders. Also I'd suggest getting her involved with an outside activity so she has some friends. the problem is once they start the downward spiral it makes it even harder to make friends. Get her into some self defense classes so she can learn to be more secure in herself.

Emorocks's picture

Hi.I am 10 and i am like your daughter too.I have no friends and i get ignored too.

Healthymom2011's picture

I can definitely relate to your situation. I have a daughter who is 11 years old. She is very pretty. She is a honor roll student. She has made the selected choir, joined a swim club, and also takes an American Sign Language (ASL) course outside of school.

Even though my daughter is an honor roll student, she had to get help in school with reading. According to our state, it is required for the students to take a basic skill test for certain subjects. Depending on how well they do, determines what reading class she is put into. My daughter also has Attention Deficit Disorder, which is hard for her to focus during

to talk that can relate to problems they are having. As us being moms, we are not pre-teens growing up in 2000's. We do not deal with the same things issues We immediately went to and a few friends that she hangs out with at school. I am just not sure why she doesn't have that I am part

Healthymom2011's picture

Some of the things that other girls in her grade are able to do is have a facebook/my space account. My daughter is only 11, I told her that she must be 13. They also are able to have relationships with boys. We are not letting our daughter date until she is 16 years of age. They also have cell phone, which we let our daughter have for 2 reasons: one she started babysitting recently after taking her babysitting training course. Most homes no longer have land lines. Do it would have been hard for her to call anyone incase of an emergency. Two, if she is going to be hanging out by herself at the tubing park, it is important for me to keep in contact with her.

Recently we purchased her a season pass for a snow tubing park do that she could call a few girls from her school to go tubing with. I am hoping this pushes her to meet other girls her age.