cmarie's picture

HELP big problems at school!

Okay this may get long... My daughter is 5 years old and in preschool. This is her second year although she did attend only half a year last year starting in January. She missed the cut off date for kindergarten by only 12 days. Last year she had a different teacher and I was told that she may be bored in Kindergarten because she is (and has always been) very smart and already understood the stuff that was being covered. This year her teacher has complained all year about her not participating and saying that she isn't listening in class and that she won't be ready for kindergarten next year. I have noticed that she has been pretending not toknow things such as her birthday and how old she is, stuff she has known for along time and I have broght this to the teachers attention. Yesterday I asked how her day went and the teacher said she had a good day but went on to imply that my daughter has a learning disablitiy!!!!! I could have fallen over dead, I have studied early childhood education since my daughter was 13 months old and I know she doesn't. I refuse to have her labeled that way even just by her teacher in her head. I will not have her being treated that way. Even if she did have trouble learning I would not want that label placed on her due the the harmful effects of labeling children. I'm begining to wonder if she may not be bored.... because I know she's having problems listening and she seems to be more matured than most of the kids in her class.

tamz's picture

The way I see it, you have options. You can take your daughter out of the pre-school and teach her yourself, you can select another pre-school program that is better able to meet your daughters needs, or you can speak to the head of the current pre-school to get a techer who is willing to actually work with your child and teach her at her own level. I would not bother with trying to make the current teacher understand, if she was at all invested in your child as her student, she would not be so ignorant. Also if you have conflict with her, it may spill over into your childs learning.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

First of all, it's not a teacher's place to label any child. That is for a dr to determine. My oldest son is 5, and he has some learning difficulties. We brought him to a Developmental Pediatrician for an eval. Currently he attends a spec ed program, and w/ the extra help and attention, he's doing quite well.
I suggest that you work w/ your daughter at home or get her a tutor. If you see any changes in her learning ability or behavior, you shld bring it to the school's attention. It's the teacher's job to alert you to any concerns she may have, but it's not her job to diagnose your daughter. You can then choose to have your daughter tested. You don't have to go through the school. You can get an outside eval through your local hospital or child development center. At least that wld give you peace of mind.
If your child does show signs of a problem, don't harp so much on the label issue. My son has an IEP and was just labeled by his school. We had to do this in order to get him the appropriate services he needs. Believe me when I say it's hard to accept that your child has a problem, let alone he has a label. But w/ the right help, our son is doing so much better.
This may just be an age thing that your daughter is going through, or it cld be something more. Why not get her tested, if not through the school, then through a physician? It won't hurt. No one can force you to label your child. All I know is that the earlier you seek assistance, the more positive the child's outcome.
I wish you all the best w/ your daughter.

solwell's picture

Have you thought about having her tested for kindergarten at the school she will be attending. I have a friend whose granddaughter won't be 5 until December and was placed in kindergarten. She started out on a trial basis for 2-3 months and she is doing fine. We have full day kindergarten here in AZ and again, she's thriving. I think your daughter needs to be in kindergarten and NOT in preschool. She's definitely bored and probably rebelling in her own way.

cowboysmom's picture

I was reading your comments to this post and felt like applauding! If only other parents were as educated - I have been through a huge battle with my son's school throughout the past year and I was just hunting on this site for other parents going through the same thing. He is ADHD/inattentative type and was mis-diagnosed as Autistic at the age of 4. The public school system place him in a Autistic cluster class for 5 years never questioning his placement.

My advice is right on with yours - you are the parent - do not allow a school to tell you what is wrong with your child (especially if it just doesn't seem right) - you know your child better than anyone!

idkanyway's picture


Listen teachers expect miracles from children who are children! She is only 5 y/o. They can't label her unless you allow it, and they can't ever fail her unless you allow it.

Make sure you communicate with the school and help your daughter at home with assignments and provide feedback and communication with her teachers and all will be fine. however you need to make it clear to THAT teacher that you don't appreciate her labeling your child. Mention the fact that she is NOT a psychiatrist or Psychologist and that if there is truly a suspicion of a learning disability then the school can foot the bill for the screening tests with a licensed professional. They will back down.

Advocate for your daughter, no one else will. Make sure tehy know that you won't back down and that you'll always take up arms for your daughter.